Everybody Has a Mother!

"Your mother? I didn't know you had a mother." Bernard looked at his fiancee, Mindy, quizzically as if she'd been hiding something from him.

"Everybody has a mother, Bernard," Mindy told him. "Did you think that I was found under a toadstool or maybe wrapped in a package at Walmart?"

"I suppose I never thought about it," Bernard mused. "To tell you the truth, I don't spend a whole lot of time thinking about anybody other than myself. You might have noticed that."

"It was pretty hard to miss," Mindy said. "If you're so self-centered, why do you want to marry me?"

"Why not? You're pretty, smart and I need a wife. Plus you won't sleep with me if I don't marry you."

"Marriage seems pretty extreme just to sleep with me," Mindy warned.

Bernard shrugged. "It's time for me to settle down and I want smart, attractive children. I think you can produce a couple of those for me."

Mindy suddenly felt like a prize cow at the state fair but she brushed the sensation aside. Bernard might be marrying her for her genetics but she was marrying him for his bank account. It seemed like a fair trade to her. "Now about my mother. She's something of a clean freak so we're going to have to make sure your house is spotless before she visits."

"Why should my house be spotless? Won't she be staying with you?"

"Yes but Mom likes every place she visits to be spotless. She gets a little freaky about it."

Bernard raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Anything else I should know about my future mother-in-law?"

"Let's see...well, she's a bit of a kleptomaniac so don't leave anything really nice lying around. She picks up things like paperweights, knickknacks and anything else she can fit in her purse and takes them home with her. She's also kind of a hoarder."

"Mindy, I'm being to wonder if you might not have less sterling genes than I imagined."

"She's not that bad," Mindy insisted, "she's just odd. Oh, and then there's Sandi."

"Who is Sandi?"

"My sister. We aren't close. I doubt Mom will bring her."

"When is this visit going to take place?"

"Before we get married. I think my mom wants to check you out."

"Perhaps we should elope and beat her to the punch. She might not approve of me."

Mindy studied her current boss/fiance and saw an incredibly good looking man that any woman would undoubtedly approve of. "Don't worry. She'll approve. And when she's here, just remember to be grateful that she lives four hours away."

"I already am," Bernard assured her.

A Mother and Daughter Reunion

After accepting Bernard Morton's marriage proposal, Mindy Cooper knew that there were two people that she needed to inform of her decision right away: her mother and her boyfriend.

She cringed at the prospect of telling each of them her news. Tyler Schuyler was going to be understandably upset but her mother...well, who knew how Betsy Cooper would react? One thing was certain, her mother never reacted the way any other normal mother would. There would be no hugs or best wishes or talk about wedding plans. Her mother seemed to have a permanent kink in her personality when it came to parenting.

Mindy was relieved to find the apartment she shared with Tyler empty after Bernard brought her home. She'd call her mother first and then tell Tyler her news when he got home. Truthfully, she didn't think Tyler was going to take it too badly. Their relationship had never been exactly made out of fireworks. Firecrackers was more like it. Tyler could move back in with his horrible mommy, quit his temporary job at Kutrate Kemicals and get on with his life. It was really the best thing for him, Mindy decided virtuously. Why, she was actually doing him a favor by breaking up with him.

Feeling better, Mindy sat down on the couch and braced herself for the phone call to her mother. After taking several long gulps of air, she picked up her cell phone.

"Hi, Mom."

"Who is this? Sandi? Is that you?"

"No, it's Mindy, not Sandi," Mindy said through gritted teeth. She sounded nothing like her sister Sandi yet every time she called her mother, her mother mistook her for Sandi.

"Mindy! What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong?"

"You only call me when something's wrong."

"That's not true. I call you all the time--" Mindy stopped herself because she suddenly couldn't remember the last time she had called her mother. Was it when she needed to borrow money because her car broke down? Or was it when she needed to borrow money because she was short on rent money?" Oh, my. Her mother was right; she did only call when something was wrong. "Well, that's not the reason why I'm calling you tonight. I have some big news, Mom. I'm getting married!"

"You're getting married? Who on earth are you marrying? Some penniless journalist?"

"Actually, my fiance is extremely wealthy and very good looking. He looks a lot like Warren Beatty in his prime."

"Oh, Mindy, why would you want to marry someone who is better looking than you are? Men like that always cheat on their wives."

"Bernard is not better looking than I am," Mindy said. "I'm not exactly chopped liver, Mom."

"No, but you're also not a spring chicken. How did you meet this man?"

"We work together."

"He's a colleague at the newspaper? I thought you said he had money."

"I'm not working at the newspaper," Mindy explained. Good grief, when was the last time she'd spoken to her mother? It had to have been ages ago. "I'm working for a chemical company and Bernard is my boss."

"You're sleeping with your boss? That's a great way to get fired!"

"He's not going to fire me and we aren't sleeping together. We're engaged."

"The two are mutually exclusive, Mindy. I thought you knew that."

"Mom, it might be nice if you said congratulations or asked me when you can meet my fiance or told me how happy you are for me. Bernard Morton is a rich, handsome man and he wants to marry me. Most mothers would think that's good news!"

"Just don't let him meet your sister," Betsy Cooper advised. "Remember how all your old boyfriends fell for her once they met her?"

"That happened one time in junior high."

"Still, better safe than sorry. So when can I meet your fiance? Maybe I should come to Schuyler Square for a visit. It's been a while, Mindy. We can catch up with each other."

"I'll call you next week," Mindy promised. Maybe she'd be able to convince Bernard to elope before her mother's visit because she had the feeling that once Bernard met Betsy and saw what kind of family she came from, he might decide he didn't want to marry her after all.

You Worry Too Much

Life was moving much too quickly for Tom Hartman. Brooding over a cup of coffee at the Schuyler Square Café, he thought over all the changes that were happening around him. First, he discovered that he had a daughter that he’d known nothing about and he’d spent the past year or so trying to hammer out a relationship with her. Now that daughter, his little Tiffany, was graduating from high school and then getting married to a weasel who wouldn’t know what honest work was if it jumped up and bit him in the butt. But before the wedding could take place, Tom was going to have to have a blood test along with Vlad, his ex-wife’s former lover, to find out just who really was Tiffany’s father.

Not that it really mattered to Tom. Even if it turned out that Vlad was Tiffany’s biological father, Tom knew that he was always going to feel like he was her true dad. Over the past year he’d come to love the girl and he planned on being there for her for the rest of his life. If Tiffany insisted on marrying that no-goodnick loser Rex, Tom would stand by her. He’d pay for her wedding, give her Kleenex when the marriage broke up and give her a place to stay when the inevitable divorce happened.

“Hello, Daddy.” Tiffany sashayed into coffee shop, tugging up her jeans as she moved.

“Good grief, Tiffany, what’s happened to you?” Tom stared at his daughter. His formerly pudgy little girl had turned into a string bean seemingly overnight. “I knew you were dieting but you look positively starved.”

Sitting down across from him, Tiffany laughed. “I’m hardly starving,” she assured him. “As a matter of fact, I’m going to order some lunch, if you don’t mind. I haven’t eaten for at least an hour.”

“Of course I don’t mind. Order anything you want.”

A waitress came to the table and Tiffany ordered a double cheeseburger with bacon, extra large fries and a chicken burrito. “See?” she said after ordering. “I’m not dieting.”

“Then how are you losing so much weight?”

Tiffany shrugged. “I guess my metabolism has moved into high gear. You worry too much. Don't--everything's fine. Have you talked to Vlad?”

“Yes. He’s getting his blood test today.”

“How about you? When are you getting yours?”

“I had it this morning.”

“Great! Then once we straighten out the who’s my dad question, I can marry Rex!”

“Honey, are you sure you want to go through with the wedding? I don’t see why you’re in such a hurry to marry him.”

“Well, to tell you the truth it’s really more about him being in a rush to marry me,” Tiffany confided. “I wouldn’t care if we just lived together.”

“I wish you would just live together,” Tom said frankly, “although I’d much rather that you go to college, get a degree and find a career that you like.”

“Why would I want to do that?” Tiffany asked. “I don’t want to work. Rex and I have other plans.”

“You mentioned that you’ll be coming into more money soon. What was that all about?”

Tiffany looked uncomfortable. “Nothing. We’re doing a little investing.”

“With the money your mother left you?”

“Sort of.”

“Tiffany, you aren’t doing anything illegal, are you?”

“No!” Tiffany said much too quickly. “Why do you always think the worst of me? Don’t you trust me?” She suddenly pressed her hand to her forehead. “I have a headache. See? You’re upsetting me. Stop it.”

“I care about you, baby. I’m not trying to upset you. I’m trying to help you.” The waitress set a plate of food down in front of Tiffany and Tom watched in amazement as his daughter inhaled everything on the plate. There was no way that she could be consuming so many calories and still losing weight. Something weird was going on and Tom planned on finding out just what it was. Tom knew what he had to do. He was going to have to talk to that lamebrain Rex and get him to spill the beans both over why Rex was so anxious to marry Tiffany and how the two of them were going to get rich.

As he watched Tiffany scrape her plate clean, Tom knew that he was going to have to find out what was going on as soon as possible. Whatever was happening, he was sure that he didn't like it.

Schuyler Square Day 123 Happiness Doesn't Last Forever

Tom put down his coffee cup and stared at his daughter. "What?"

Shaking a sheet of paper in front of his face, Tiffany repeated her question. "Who is this Vlad guy? He sent me this stupid letter and claims he might be my father! What's he talking about, Daddy?"

Tom reached for the letter with shaking hands. He'd never dreamed that Vlad would resurface after so many years. Why would he? Vlad had been a very brief chapter, maybe even a paragraph, in his ex-wife's love life so why would he decide to pop up now? "May I read that?" he asked.

"I don't care," Tiffany replied. The smile that she had worn to breakfast was replace with a very unhappy frown. Damn. Just when we were starting to get somewhere. Tom was brand new at this parenting business but he remembered what it was like to be a teenager and how every little thing could be painful. Tiffany had more to deal with than just 'little things,' such as accidentally running her mother over, living with her cold aunt and her cold aunt's certifiable boyfriend, finding out that Tom was her father, losing her uncle to murder--the list went on and on. Tom had been hoping that their life together was beginning to settle down but now he wasn't quite so sure.

He picked up the letter, put on his reading glasses and scanned it quickly. You do not remember me. How could you? You weren't even born when I left your country to return to mine. But I remember you--or rather I remember the news of you from your beautiful mother whom I loved very much. I am back in the United States now and I'd like to meet you. Perhaps your mother could arrange a meeting between the three of us...

Tom stopped reading. "He doesn't know your mom is dead,"

"Which means that he doesn't know I killed her." Tiffany reached for another bagel, her third, and slathered it with a thick layer of cream cheese. Tom wanted to tell her not to do that, not to take immediate refuge in food but he resisted the temptation. He had been living with his daughter for only a few weeks but he already knew that when Tiffany felt like her back was up against a wall, she usually found solace in a box of chocolate covered donuts or an extra large pizza.

"It was an accident," Tom reminded her.

Tiffany didn't look convinced. "Who is this guy? Do you know him?"

Tom didn't answer his daughter's question right away. He needed to figure out a way to tell her that yes, he knew who Vlad was and also that yes, it was highly possible that Vlad was Tiffany's father.

Schuyler Square Day 96 Tiffany and Tom

"Order anything you want," Tom Hartman told Tiffany. "The lobster might be good."

"I detest lobster," Tiffany informed him. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat at Vicky's Secret, Schuyler Square's fanciest restaurant. Although the man sitting across from her, the man who claimed to be her father, seemed decent enough, it was downright awkward to be meeting him for the first time at the ripe old age of seventeen.

"Well, maybe steak then. Do you like steak?" Tom looked at Tiffany hopefully.

She shrugged. "It's all right. I think I'd rather have lasagna." She knew from past dining experiences that the lasagna at Vicky's Secret was beyond delicious. About four inches high and filled with enough cheese to clog the arteries of the entire town, one portion would blow her diet completely out of the water but Tiffany felt like she deserved a treat. She'd been so vigilant about watching calories, not giving into emotional eating and generally eating like a starving ant. Well, forget about that! If ever there had been a moment in her life when she felt an overwhelming need to give in to emotional eating, this had to be it. Meeting her dad for the first time was up there with running into her mom's car and accidentally killing her.

Tom looked relieved. "I'll have that too," he said.

Picking up her glass of Diet Coke, Tiffany studied Tom over the rim as she took a long sip. He was all right looking, she supposed, with brown hair and brown eyes. Pretty average for a man his age. Tiffany's mom had blue eyes and Tiffany had grey eyes. Weren't brown eyes supposed to be dominant? Or was it blue? Tiffany couldn't remember. She never paid too much attention during biology class. Or math. Or English.

"This must all feel pretty strange to you," Tom remarked after giving the waitress their order.

"Just a little," Tiffany agreed.

"It's going to take us a while to get to know each other but that's OK. It's not like we're in any kind of a rush." Tom seemed so uncomfortable that Tiffany felt a little sorry for him.

"How come my mom told me that you were in prison?" Tiffany asked.

"Is that what she told you?" Tom's eyes widened and he took a gulp of his scotch and soda.

Tiffany nodded. "She said you were in Joliet at the prison and that's why you never came to visit and never wrote."

Tom sighed deeply. "I don't know why Lynnette told you that, Tiffany. I also don't know why she never told me about you. Our divorce was pretty bitter and I'm guessing that she didn't want me to be part of her life after we split up. It really wasn't fair to either of us but there isn't much we can do about it now."

"I guess not," Tiffany agreed.

"But it isn't too late for the two of us to be family," Tom told her. "Is there anything you want to know about my side of the family? Any questions?"

"Just one," Tiffany said slowly.

"What's that?"

"Are you sure you're really my father?"