Fixing Mom Up on a Blind Date

"Mom, do you have a moment?" Tyler asked his mother after entering her mirrored dressing room. Catching a glimpse of his reflection in the ceiling, Tyler tried to flatten a cowlick that was sprouting on the top of his head but it didn't work. Time to make an appointment for a haircut with Mr. Keith. Thank God we're rich and I never have to go to one of those cut-rate places for a haircut, Tyler thought. It must really suck to be poor--which was exactly why he needed to make sure his mother didn't get hooked up with yet another loser in her latest round of the middle-aged Dating Game.

"Of course, darling," Mavis assured him, carefully applying an extra thick line of dark blue eyeliner and extending it into a large wing just past her left eye. "But keep it quick. Mommy has a date tonight."

"Oh, yeah? Who are you going out with?"

"No one you know, precious. Just a man." Mavis smirked at her reflection. "A very handsome man."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Mom," Tyler said. "I, um, was wondering if you'd like to meet someone...someone sort of...well, you know..."

"Spit it out, Tyler," Mavis snapped. "What are you trying to say?"

"A friend of mine's widowed father just moved to Schuyler Square and I told him that you'd like to have dinner with him."

Mavis laughed. "Why on earth did you tell him that? I don't need any help from my son to find a date. I do quite well on my own, thank you very much."

"I know that--"

"Then why are you sneaking behind my back, arranging blind dates for me?" Half turning in her chair, Mavis peered intently at Tyler. "Unless this man is incredibly good looking and insanely wealth--then I'd know that you only have your mommy's best interests at heart. Is he handsome and rich?"

"He makes Donald Trump look like a chump and he's a dead ringer for Tom Cruise," Tyler assured her. "And he's dying to meet you."

Mavis turned back to the mirror and began to fuss with her curls. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I met the man. When are we supposed to get together?"

"Tomorrow night at the club."

"All right. I happen to be free tomorrow night but right now I'm running late. I'm meeting the most divine man at that new bar downtown--the one with the illuminated skull over the door."

"Your going to Headhunters?" Tyler felt his eyes bulge inside his own skull. The thought of his classy mother hanging out at a dive like Headhunters--blowing his future inheritance--made him sick to his stomach. Until recently Tyler had never cared too much about money but lately he'd done a great deal of growing up in that regard and he'd come to realize that not only was he entitled to his half of the Schuyler fortune, he also deserved it and he was going to make damn sure that his mother didn't blow it all before her number was up. "Have you ever been there before?"

"Not really. I walked past it once and peeked inside but I have to admit that it looked a little dingy to me.But Chuck assured me that I'll love their Red Headed Sluts."

"WHAT?"

"It's a drink, Tyler. Calm down. I think it has peach schnapps or something healthy like that in it. Doesn't it sound intriguing?"

Things were far worse than Tyler had even imagined. His mother usually stuck to dry martinis and now she was going to go drink a Red Headed Slut? Could life get any worse? Or any more confusing? "Then you'll go out with my friend's dad tomorrow," he confirmed.

Rising to her feet, Mavis squirted on a cloud of Opium and then patted him lightly on one cheek. "Of course I will. Especially if he's a rich and as handsome as you say he is. I'll see you later."

"Be home early!" Tyler called after her as Mavis floated out of her dressing room and toward the staircase. A moment later he heard the front door shut. Tyler sank into his mother's makeup chair and stared at his downcast reflection. Great. Just great. His mother was out with some gigolo and he needed to find someone who would be willing to pretend to be a grieving widower who just happened to be as rich as Donald Trump before tomorrow night. It looked like he had his work cut out for him.

Some Days It Really Doesn't Pay to Get Out of Bed

"How nice it is to see you again, Peter," Mavis said as she walked down the wide staircase toward the tall, blond man standing in her foyer. "You look wonderful."

"Hello, Mavis. It has been a long time. You're looking good too."

"Thank you," Mavis replied. She reached Peter's side and tried not to shiver. She had forgotten how tall and commanding he looked in his uniform. "Would you like to go into the den? Carrie is going to bring us a pot of coffee."

"All right," Peter agreed.

Together they walked down the hallway that led to the mahogany paneled den, Mavis stepping slightly in front of Peter so that he could enjoy the view of her tiger striped leggings and black cashmere tunic. He had always appreciated her in animal prints. When they reached the den, she sat down regally in her late husband's armchair and gestured for Peter to sit next to her. "Now tell me why you're here," she requested. "Why you're really here."

"I told you on the phone. There's been a lead in the murder of Fritz Weiss."

"Why would that matter to me?" she asked coyly.

Peter looked around the room uncomfortably. "Well, unfortunately the lead points to a member of your family."

Mavis laughed. "How could anyone in my family have possibly been involved with that grubby little scientist? He was hardly the kind of person that we would socialize with."

"Maybe not but a few things have surfaced about him and your son Tyler."

Mavis felt her good mood begin to fade. "Tyler? I doubt Tyler ever met Fritz Weiss."

"Didn't Tyler work at Kutrate Kemicals for a while as a custodian?"

"Only when he was helping that lowbrow ex-girlfriend of his. The job didn't last very long. Tyler doesn't know one end of a broom from the other."

"I wouldn't know about that, Mavis, but a source has told us that Tyler was seen having a heated argument with Fritz Weiss a few days before Weiss was murdered."

"So what?"

"I'd like to talk to Tyler. Is he home?"

Not only was her good mood gone but Mavis felt the bad mood that she'd woken up with return with a vengeance. Here she had thought that Peter wanted to rekindle some of their romance when all he wanted was to question her baby boy over some silly murder. "No, he's not."

"When will he be home?"

Mavis got to her feet. "I have no idea but if you want to question Tyler about anything, I suggest that you do it through our lawyer. Good-bye, Peter."

Slowly Peter got to his feet. "I guess this mean that we aren't having coffee?"

All of the reasons why she had broken up with Peter--or why she hadn't been too heartbroken when he had dumped her--came rushing back. His simple nature, his obtuseness, his apparent inability to recognize sarcasm when he heard it. "No, Peter, we aren't having coffee today or any other day. You can see yourself out." Stalking out of the den, Mavis headed for the staircase and the sanctuary of a steaming bubble bath followed by a few more hours of sleep. Honestly, some days it didn't pay to get out of bed and this was all to clearly one of them.

Almost tripping over Carrie who was approaching the den with a loaded tray, Mavis glared at her hapless maid. "Will you kindly watch where you are going?"

"Don't you want coffee?" Carrie asked.

"No! The officer is leaving!" Mavis huffed down the hallway.

Waiting until her boss had disappeared, Carrie continued into the den. "Mrs. Schuyler doesn't want coffee," she told the good looking police officer, "but perhaps I can do the honors in her place this morning."

Peter's blue eyes met Carrie's and slowly smiled. "That would be very nice," he told her. "Very nice indeed..."

It's Been a Long, Cold Winter.

Mavis Schuyler woke up in a crabby mood. This was nothing unusual since Mavis had woken up in a crabby mood for almost every day of her fiftysome years but this morning her mood seemed extra crabby, as if she'd slept on a head of those hard pink plastic curlers, something Mavis Schuyler had never done in her entire life. But that was how she felt. Like she was being poked by something cheap and uncomfortable.

Getting out of her king-sized bed, Mavis reflected that she was being poked by something cheap and uncomfortable--her oldest son's newest fiance, Claudine. Her mouth tightened into a hard straight line at the thought of Claudine. There was no way that Mavis was buying Claudine's story that she was some kind of vegan-hippie-existentialist who just happened to fall in love with someone as wealthy and materialistic as Brad Schuyler. No, Claudine had set her cap for Brad and it was up to Mavis to remove her from Brad's life the same way she would take her son to a dermatologist to get a wart burned off. It was driving Mavis absolutely insane that Brad couldn't see the trap that Claudine had laid for him and how he was walking into it so blindly.

Mavis pulled on a cashmere bathrobe and went downstairs. Maybe a cup of coffee would improve her mood.

"Good morning, Mrs. Schuyler," Carrie said when Mavis entered the kitchen.

"Good morning," Mavis mumbled. Carrie silently set a cup of coffee down in front of Mavis. Mavis did like the way her new housekeeper had the sense not to say more to her than a simple good morning every day. That was one plus in her life. For once she had decent help.

Mavis slowly sipped her coffee, her mind focused on the Claudine problem. If only that bum Rex would do what he promised to do and get rid of Claudine. What was wrong with him anyway? She made a mental note to drop in on Rex later and remind him of their deal. Honestly, do I have to take care of everything?

The house phone rang and Carrie hurried to answer it. "Just a moment please," Mavis heard her say. "Mrs. Schuyler? It's for you."

"Who is it?" Mavis snapped.

"Someone from the police department. Peter Something or other."

Her crabbiness vanished. Peter Van Husen was calling her? Although their affair had ended ages ago, Mavis still got shivers whenever she saw Peter driving around town in one of Schuyler Square's squad cars, his blond hair gleaming underneath his cap. He might be a city employee but he was still the best looking man Mavis had ever met. Perhaps he was calling to ask her out to dinner. Of course she'd say yes. What harm could that possibly do?

Mavis took the phone out of Carrie's outstretched hand. "Thank you. Hello, Peter? This is a surprise. How are you?"

"Hello, Mavis." Peter's voice was just as deep and sexy as she remembered. "I'm calling about an investigation I'm conducting. Do you suppose I could drop in at your house in about an hour?"

"Of course," Mavis replied, instantly seeing through Peter's 'investigation' ploy. He was dying to see her again. Not that she could blame him. Mavis must have been the highlight of Peter's entire romantic spectrum. "I'll see you in a while."

Mavis returned the receiver to its cradle, her face thoughtful. Hmmmm. Peter wants to see me again, probably to pick up where we left out. Well, why not? It's been a long, cold winter. I could use some excitement.

"Carrie," she said as she got to her feet, "Officer Van Husen is coming over in a while. I'm going to get dressed. Will you please turn on the fireplace in the den and make fresh coffee before he gets here?"

"Of course," Carrie said.

Mavis sailed out of the kitchen, all of her morning crabbiness along with her worries about Claudine disappearing under the prospect of a visit from Peter Van Husen.

A New Year in Schuyler Square

It's a new year in Schuyler Square but the murder of Fritz Weiss remains unsolved. As the case has grown cooler and cooler, interest in it has waned too. With a bitter winter on hand, the good people of Schuyler Square are more concerned with keeping warm than anything else...


"This winter sucks," Sandi Cooper announced to her sister Mindy. "I think I'm going to blow this pop stand and join Mom. Where is she now?"


Mindy looked up from the cup of hot chocolate she was holding in lame attempt to warm her freezing hands. The landlord turned the heat down to 60 degrees at ten o'clock each evening no matter what the temperature was outside. "I think she's in Florida right now at a Herman's Hermits reunion event."


"How does she afford to just travel?" Sandi asked. "It's not like she ever worked or anything. What is she living on?"


"Probably Dad's life insurance. She told me once that he took out a huge policy just in case he died while we were little and she needed to support us."


"So she's spending all that on chasing has been teen idols around the country." Sandi looked disgusted. "Pathetic. What we need to do is find a rich husband for each of us and then we won't have to sit in freezing apartments for the rest of our lives."


"Money isn't everything," Mindy remarked. "Look at me. I was engaged to Bernard, the wealthiest man I ever met, and I was miserable. I'd much rather marry someone for love."


"Someone like Peter Van Husen?" Sandi slyly suggested.


Mindy blushed. "Of course not but speaking of Officer Van Husen, how's the murder investigation going?"


"Oh, it's pretty much dead in the water. No one knows who killed that weird scientist and no one cares. I haven't talked to Peter about that in ages. Maybe you should call him up and see what's happening. You are supposed to be an investigative reporter."


"I'll let someone else on the paper handle it."


"Why? Are you avoiding Peter? You know, I think he has a big ol' crush on you. You should do something about that."


"You're being ridiculous. All I care about is finding out who killed Fritz and why. This town is too small to have an unsolved mystery."


Sandi pulled out her cell phone and pressed Peter's number. "Then tell our local stud police officer that. Here."


"Sandi! I don't want to talk to Peter!" Mindy recoiled from the telephone and then ducked as  her sister threw it at her.


"Hello?" Peter's voice floated up from the cell phone. "Sandi? What's up?"


Reluctantly, Mindy picked up the phone. "Hi, Peter. It isn't Sandi. It's Mindy."


Peter's voice brightened considerably. "Mindy! I don't believe this. I was just thinking about you. There's been a lead in the murder of Fritz Weiss."

This Winter is Brutal

"Come in," Rex said. "Get out of the cold. This winter is brutal."

"Thank you." Claudine swept in the small apartment Rex shared with Tiffany and Rex quickly shut the door behind her.

"Some weather," he said. "This has been the worst winter I can remember having in a long time--"

"I didn't come here to discuss the weather," Claudine snapped. "I've never been one for small talk. I want you to do something for me."

Rex crossed his arms and waited. If Claudine didn't want small talk, then he wouldn't talk at all.

"Well? Are you willing to help me?" Claudine demanded after a few silent seconds.

"Help you do what?"

"I need for you to get rid of someone. My...an old...a former, oh, damn. It's my sort of husband. You need to get him out of my life."

Rex stared at Claudine, taking in the fresh highlights in her mousy brown hair, the fancy looking winter coat she was wearing and her brand new boots. The woman standing in front of him was a far cry from the dumpy quasi-hippie who had moved into the Schuyler's house months before. Obviously Claudine had gotten a taste of the good life and liked how it went down. Rex got that since he felt exactly the same way. Still, that didn't mean he had to help the broad. Why should he? "Why should I? What's in it for me?"

"I can pay you a thousand dollars."

"Let's clear up a few things first such as why did you come to me with this offer and what exactly do you want me to do? Rough the guy up or push him in front of a train?"

"Either would work," Claudine said thoughtfully.

"What made you think of coming to me?"

Claudine blushed slightly. "Well, you have a reputation for being a little rough around the edges. Plus you always seem to need money. I put the two together and came up with..."

"A plan that could get me a nice, long stretch in jail. No, thanks."

"What am I supposed to do if you won't help me?" Claudine demanded. "Steve could really screw up my relationship with Brad and the rest of the Schuylers."

"Why don't you just tell Brad about your former boyfriend. He's nuts about you. He won't care."

Heading for the door, Claudine shook her head. "You simply don't understand how rich people think, Rex. That's why you'll always be lower class." She slammed the apartment door on her way out.

Rex had to laugh. Maybe he should take Claudine up on her offer and then figure out a way to get rid of Claudine and her ex-boyfriend in one fell swoop. He might not understand how rich people thought but he had a newsflash for Claudine: she didn't either since what she wanted to do to this joker named Steve sounded like exactly what her future mother-in-law wanted to do to her.

"Life," Rex said, "is definitely strange."

One Hand Washes the Other

There were times when Rex was pretty sure that it would be easier to just go out and get a regular job instead of trying to figure out ways to shake loose Mavis Schuyler's money tree. Her latest scheme, that he break up her son's relationships with that cold fish Claudine, was not going well. For starters, Rex still wasn't clear if Mavis wanted him to come between Claudine and Brad in a romantic sense or if she wanted him to whack Claudine. It was a point that he needed to clear up.

"Rex? Where are you?" Tiffany entered the living room and found Rex sprawled in his recliner, deep in thought. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

Tiffany laughed. "Why would you waste your time doing that? Come on, let's go to the mall."

"Tif, your aunt is leaning on me to get rid of Claudine. I told you about that."

Tiffany sat down next to him. "So what?"

"Well, with the holidays coming, I could use the dough she wants to pay me but I'm not entirely comfortable with the whole thing."

"Why not? I want a very special Christmas together since this is our first major holiday together."

"Suppose she wants me to get rid of Claudine permanently? It might be our last major holiday together."

"Since when do you do whatever Aunt Mavis tells you to do? Just tell her you tried, make her give you the money and forget about it. It's not like she can turn you into the police. She's the one who hired you to do something illegal. Or at least unethical."

Rex scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Somehow I can't see your aunt agreeing with you. She'll do anything to get that Claudine chick away from your cousin. She's going to want me to do something."

Tiffany screwed up her own face in thought. "I know. I'll tell Brad that I saw you making out with Claudine at that burger place over near the high school. He'll believe me, he'll dump Claudine and you'll get paid!"

"But Claudine will say you're lying."

"Who is my cousin going to believe? His stupid fiancee or his own flesh and blood?"

"He's in love with his stupid fiancee," Rex said. "You two aren't all that close."

"Well, for Pete's sake!" Tiffany leaned back against the sofa cushions and pouted. "Are you going to spend all day thinking about this? I really need to get to the mall!"

"Oh, all right. I guess I can think in the food court."

After putting on their winter coats, Rex pulled open the front. Standing in the hallway was Claudine, Brad's girlfriend and the person Rex was supposed to get rid of. "Claudine!" Rex said, forcing a note of friendliness into his voice, "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help," Claudine replied. "Now."

Early Christmas Shopping?

"Hi, Carrie. Have you seen Claudine?"

Carrie looked up from the sofa she was almost through cleaning and smiled at Brad Schuyler sympathetically. He really did seem like a nice guy and he never failed to thank her for anything she did for him at the Schuyler home. Why he was engaged to someone like Claudine was beyond Carrie. "She was in the kitchen the last time I saw her."

"The kitchen?"  Brad's face lit up. "Is she baking her special wheat bread that she makes out of all organic products? She hasn't made that since she came here."

"Um, no. She's not baking. The last time I saw her she was...resting." No way was Carrie going to tell Brad that the last time she had seen his fiancee Claudine was sprawled across the kitchen floor in a dead faint because of some good looking guy who had dropped by to see her. Brad would find that out soon enough.

"Resting? In the kitchen?"

Carrie shrugged and returned to the sofa. It wasn't her job to explain everything to these people. Besides, she had the feeling that Claudine was pretty expert at explaining herself out of any situation.

"Thanks, Carrie," Brad said before disappearing down the hallway. Carrie stared after him, her lips pursed. Honestly, Brad Schuyler deserved better than Claudine Whatever Her Last Name Was. It was none of her business but Carrie hoped that the man who had appeared on the doorstep a little while ago, the one who had obvious ties to Claudine such as being her common law husband, would put an end to Brad and Claudine's engagement. Maybe then Claudine would move out and Carrie would have one less bathtub to scrub out every morning.

Brad went into the kitchen but it was empty. Glancing out the bay window behind the breakfast nook, he saw Claudine hurrying toward the white Mustang that he had given to her for an engagement present. Where could she be going? Well, there was only one way to find out. Heading out the back door, Brad decided that he'd surprise his fiancee by following her. He was sure she wouldn't mind. After all, they were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

Brad tailed Claudine to Center Avenue. He was a little behind her but managed to watch her park in front of Helander's sporting goods store. Puzzled, Brad parked too. Maybe Claudine was doing a little early Christmas shopping. He was positive that she wouldn't be buying anything for herself at Helander's. Claudine loathed athletics. Maybe he shouldn't follow her into the store. Maybe she was getting something for him.

Brad stayed in his car, squinting as he watched his fiancee move throughout the store. His eyes widened when she reached the counter and pointed at something behind the clerk's head. His eyes got even bigger when the clerk handed Claudine what she'd been pointing at. It was a handgun. A small, black, extremely lethal looking handgun.

Who the heck could Claudine be buying that for?

Money Isn't Really Vulgar

Claudine could hardly believe her bad luck. Of all the times for Larry to show up--why did he have to appear now, just when she'd gotten engaged to Brad and was also getting closer to her future brother-in-law, Tyler? Having her common law ex-husband show up was like having a tornado land in the back yard. Not good news any way you looked at it.

"You need to leave this house," she told Larry. "Now."

"I will if you'll agree to meet me for dinner tonight."

"I can't have dinner with you tonight. Brad's taking me to the club for a dinner dance."

Larry raised his eyebrows. "The 'club'? My, my, my--haven't we gotten to be a fine lady since the last time I saw you. What happened to the old Claudine? The one who never shaved her legs and who thought money was vulgar?"

"The old Claudine finally got some money and now she knows that vulgar is the very last thing that money is," Claudine replied. Her eyes darted nervously toward the back door. "Larry, I mean it. You have to leave before any of the Schuylers get home. I need time to explain you."

"Agreed," Larry said. "You need time to explain a lot of things." The look he gave Claudine made her shiver. Larry knew too much about certain connections that she had to people in Schuyler Square, connections that were far too murky for Brad to ever understand. "Okay, I'll go but I want a firm time for the two of us to meet."

"Tomorrow," Claudine said, "at two o'clock."

"Where?"

"I don't know--McDonald's on Center Avenue. Sit in the back where no one can see you."

"You got it, babe," Larry agreed. "Just make sure you don't forget about me. I'd hate to have to let your new family know about your old family."

Claudine looked up at Carrie and saw the rapt interest on the maid's face. "Carrie, would you please show Larry out?"

"Do you want me to help you up?" Carrie asked.

"No, I'm fine. Or I will be fine once he leaves."

Claudine waited until Carrie and Larry were out of the kitchen. With a groan, she got to her knees and then to her feet. Of all the rotten things to happen--this had to be one of the worst. Larry was going to be hard to handle. He'd always been hard to handle but she was positive that this time handling him was going to be like handling a box of explosives.

"Think, Claudine," she told herself. "Think! You have to get Larry to keep his mouth shut about why you really came to Schuyler Square."

But how she was going to do that was beyond the power of Claudine's imagination at that moment. One thing she knew for sure; the sooner Larry left town, the better.

Common Law Marriage

Someone new has arrived in Schuyler Square. Larry Markham has blown into town looking for his wife, Claudine. Larry apparently doesn't know that Claudine has gotten herself engaged to Brad Schuyler and it's a safe bet that he has no idea that she's also actively pursuing Tyler Schuyler, her future brother-in-law. Larry's arrival, needless to say, is not a welcome surprise to his wife...

Instantly Carrie and Larry were on their feet and rushing to help the out cold Claudine. "Oh, my gosh! She's as white as a sheet!"

"I knew she wouldn't be thrilled to see me but I didn't expect that dramatic of a reaction." Kneeling next to Claudine, Larry began gently patting her on the face.

"Is she all right?" Carrie asked. "Should I call for an ambulance?"

Claudine blinked her eyes slowly. Suddenly she opened them wide, looked up at the man bending over her and screamed loudly. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Struggling, she sat up.

Rocking back on his heels, Larry grinned at her. "Glad to see that you're all right, babe. Of course I found you. You're my wife, aren't you?"

"Your common law wife," Claudine corrected through gritted teeth. "That doesn't count."

"Sure it does. You lived with me for ten years, took my last name, shared my bed every night. That makes you my Mrs. in my book."

Slowly Claudine got to her feet, one hand rubbing the side of her head. "Ohhhh, I'm sure I have a concussion thanks to you! Why are you here, Larry? I never wanted to see you again!"

"Yeah, I kind of figured that when you cut up all my clothes and left my dog at the Humane Society. That wasn't very nice, Claudine. I had to spend over two hundred bucks getting Fluffy back."

"Like I care," Claudine muttered.

"I know you don't care. Truth to be told, I'm pretty much over you too."

Claudine stopped rubbing her head. "Then why are you here?"

Larry's bright blue eyes narrowed. "You know why, babe. I'm here because of your old man."

Claudine paled once again. "Get out," she hissed. "Now."

"Can't do that. We've got things to talk about.

Carrie's eyes darted back and forth between Larry and Claudine. This was the most exciting coffee break that she'd had since she had started working for the Schuyler's.

Adorable and Charming

Carrie Remington has worked for the first family of Schuyler Square for almost four months. During that time, she has come to like the Schuyler sons--Brad and Tyler--and loathe their mother, Mavis. The other person living at Schuyler Manor, Brad's girlfriend Claudine, is more of a puzzle to Carrie. When Claudine first arrived in Schuyler Square, she was a down-to-earth, for-the-people kind of woman and was usually considerate and friendly whenever she spoke to Carrie. Living in the lap of luxury slowly changed Claudine from that considerate person into something that was a lot closer to being a clone of Mavis Schuyler...

"Seriously? You're Claudine's husband?" Carrie didn't get it. Claudine was all right looking but she'd never stop traffic. And yet she'd obviously gotten the gorgeous guy standing in front of Carrie to marry her and now she'd somehow bewitched Brad Tyler. The woman had some kind of charm.

"Well, sort of." Larry glanced inside. "Would it be all right if I came in? It's kind of cold out here."

"All right," Carrie agreed,stepping back so Larry could enter the spacious foyer. He walked inside, the heels of his cowboy boots making loud clackety clacking sounds against the parquet floor.

"Nice," he commented as he glanced around. His eyes rested again on Carrie. "Very nice."

Wow. Not only adorable but charming as well. It was as clear as the nose on Larry's face that he wasn't from Schuyler Square. Schuyler Square men were unfortunately short changed when it came to the charm factor. Reluctantly, Carrie remembered the steam cleaning she needed to finish in the family room. "I have some work that I need to get done. Why don't you wait in the living room?"

"Would you mind if I waited in the kitchen? Fancy places like this make me nervous."

"All right," Carrie agreed. She led Larry back to the kitchen. "Would you like a cup of coffee? I'm not sure where Claudine is at the moment but she'll probably get home pretty soon."

"That would be nice." Larry sat down at the kitchen table while Carrie fixed a cup of coffee for him. "Cream or sugar?"

"Black."

Carrie liked to hear that. Men who put too much stuff in their coffee made her nervous. She had noticed that the more flavorings and crap men put in their coffee, the more demanding they were in their lives. She set the cup down in front of Larry, fighting the urge to sit down and join him. "Here you go," she said.

"Won't you join me? I hate drinking alone."

Carrie hesitated. She needed to finish the family room. On the other hand, she was almost done and there was no way that she was going to steam clean the entire house. There were times when the demands that Mavis made bordered on the ridiculous and this was one of them. Besides, no one in their right mind would turn down having coffee with Steve McQueen's doppelganger. "All right," she agreed. "I can take a coffee break."

"Good." Larry's smile was warm and genuine. "What's your name?"

"Carrie Remington." Carrie got a cup of coffee and joined Larry.

"How long have you been working here, Carrie?"

"A few months. I started right around the time Claudine came here."

Larry's face instantly darkened. "How is Claudine?"

"She seems fine." Carrie suddenly remembered that Claudine and Brad were engaged. She also remembered the looks of pure longing that she had seen Claudine throw in Tyler's direction on a regular basis. Then she remembered how that annoying Tiffany's equally annoying boyfriend had been dropping in to see Claudine. Carrie didn't get it. What did that woman have that made her so irresistible? "Um, you do know that Claudine moved her to be with Brad Schuyler, don't you?"

"Yes, I know that."

"So does she know that she's still married to you?"

"That's what I came here to find out."

The kitchen door opened and Claudine stepped in, her arms weighed down with packages from the most expensive shops at the Schuyler Square Mall. "Carrie, would you mind going out and getting the rest of the stuff from the car?" she requested. "I just maxed out three credit cards." Claudine stopped when she spotted the guest at the kitchen table. A moment later, the packages she had been carrying were scattered across the kitchen floor, Claudine out cold next to them.

A Steve McQueen Lookalike

It most likely goes without saying that keeping help at Schuyler Manor is not an easy thing to do. After her housekeeper won the lottery and promptly quit, Mavis Schuyler has been burning through maids with the speed of an Indy race car driver. As she has told herself repeatedly, good help is truly hard to find--especially at eight bucks an hour.

Carrie Remington waited for the sound of the front door slamming before doing what she always did whenever Mavis Schuyler left the house. She waved good-bye with one finger before getting to work. Everyone had warned Carrie that working for Mrs. Schuyler was like working for a combination of the Grinch, the Wicked Witch of the West and Imelda Marcos but had Carrie listened? Nooooo. She had not. She was too desperate for a regular--albeit tiny--paycheck. Besides, she was in her thirties, a grown woman. Surely she could handle someone like Mavis Schuyler.

Hauling out the steam cleaner, Carrie cursed under her breath as she pulled it toward the family room. She hated the steam cleaner. It had so many hoses and attachments that she was constantly bumping into things and leaving marks on the baseboards that Mavis inevitably spotted the moment she returned from her massage or facial or latest shopping spree. Carrie pretty much despised Mavis.

She was halfway through steaming the couch in the family room when the front doorbell rang. Pushing a strand of strawberry blonde hair out of her eyes, Carrie went to answer it. Opening it, she immediately wished that she was wearing something more attractive than the grey uniform with the white apron that Mavis insisted upon. Standing on the front steps was a medium height, well built man who just happened to be a dead ringer for Steve McQueen, Carrie's all time favorite movie star. Licking her lips, she said, "May I help you?"

The Steve McQueen lookalike gave her an amazingly effective smile. "I certainly hope so. Is this the Schuyler residence?"

"Yes, it is."

"I'm looking for Claudine Markham."

"She isn't here right now. I believe she's at work."

The man leaned against the door frame. "Would it be all right if I waited?"

While it would be totally all right with Carrie if this man not only waited, but if he came in and shared a cup of coffee with her before they started planning their future together but her saner self prevailed. After all, even gorgeous men could turn out to be psychopaths. "Well...who are you?"

He smiled again and Carrie could almost swear that his teeth glinted like diamonds. Why was this guy in Schuyler Square? He should be off riding a motorcycle to Hollywood to star in the next blockbuster. "I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself. I'm Larry Markham."

"Claudine's brother?"

"No. Her husband."

"Her husband?" This was going to be news to Brad Schuyler since he had just asked Claudine to marry him. Carrie stepped to one side to let Larry into the foyer. "I didn't know Claudine was married."

Larry flashed his brilliant smile once again. "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if Claudine knows about it either."

Like a Monkey with Fleas

In Schuyler Square, Mavis Schuyler is having trouble coming grips to the fact that her children are grown and that her maternal input is no longer needed or appreciated. Desperate to help her sons see that Mother truly knows best, Mavis is drawing on all of her resources as well as her extremely limited amount of charm to help them see the light.

"Rex, what have I been paying you to do?" Mavis glared at her niece Tiffany's nogoodnick boyfriend.

Rex scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Um, as far as I can remember you haven't paid me jack yet, Mavis. Maybe if you could be a little more, ah, forthcoming with some dough then I could start kicking our little plan into action. It's been so long that I can't quite remember the number amount that we agreed upon so let's just say 10 k, all right?"

Mavis changed the glare on her face to something much closer to a sneer. "Are you insane? I wouldn't give you ten thousand dollars to become the next man to fly to the moon! I will give you one thousand dollars today. You will turn your questionable allure on that awful woman who is engaged to Brad. You will seduce her and let Brad know about the tawdry affair that you're going to embark upon with Claudine. Then and only then I will give you two thousand more dollars."

"Three grand total? Why so cheap, Mavis?"

Mavis spoke through her newly whitened teeth. "I'm sure that three thousand dollars is an ample amount for you to enhance your current lifestyle."

"Well, sure it is. Especially since you haven't been giving Tiffany her full allowance. But I still think you could be a little more generous. After all, once I seduce Claudine, your precious baby boy will be free to date someone more appropriate. Who do you have in mind?"

"That's absolutely none of your business."

"Don't get all huffy. I'm just curious. You know, Mavis, your life would be a lot simpler if you'd just cut the apron strings between you and your boys. What is Brad now anyway--25? 26?"

"Again, that's none of your business. All that you need to concern yourself with is maneuvering Claudine to your apartment and to your bed as soon as possible. Might I suggest that you change your sheets first?"

Rex looked at her thoughtfully. "What am I supposed to do with Tiffany while this seduction takes place? We are living together, you know."

"Might I suggest that you send her to the grocery store? Or out for a pedicure? Or to Burger King for your dinner?"

"Yeah, that might work." Rex began to scratch his head.

"Must you do that?" Mavis asked.

"What?"

"Scratch all the time. You're like a monkey with fleas."

"Sorry if I'm offending you, Mavis, but I itch so I scratch. I'm thinking I might have head lice again. My head feels just like it did the last time I had lice."

"Get out!" Mavis screeched. "Get out of my house!"

Rex rose to his feet. "Calm down, would you? Geez, it's just a little head lice. No big deal. Hey--why don't I see if I can give it to Claudine? That would be pretty good proof of our little get together, wouldn't it?"

"I'm asking you to break Claudine and Brad up," Mavis snapped, "not infest her and ultimately my son and my house with head lice." Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a fifty dollar bill and threw it at Rex. "Go get something to take care of that problem and then seduce Claudine. Now get out of here immediately!"

"I'm going, I'm going." Accepting the money, Rex tucked it into his back pocket and then reached up to scratch his head again. "Really, Mavis, you need to get a grip. If you're going to get so bent out of shape over a little head lice, what are you going to do if I can't break up Baby Pants Brad and the Big, Bad Claudine? How are you going to handle that?"

Mavis led the way to the back door and opened it. "You'll succeed and I won't have to worry about it," she told him. "Now go take care of that lice!"

Winking at Mavis, Rex ambled out the kitchen door, scratching his head as he walked toward his truck. Mavis stared after him in disgust. Surely there had to be an easier way to get Brad to see that Claudine was not Schuyler wife material. Slamming the door shut, Mavis silently fumed for a good thirty seconds. Now she'd have to fumigate the den where Rex had been sitting. It would probably be smart to fumigate the entire house. "Carrie!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

Her hapless maid appeared a moment later. "Yes, Mrs. Schuyler?"

"Get out the steamer and clean the den. Clean the whole house with it. I'm going to the club." Yes, the club where she'd have a Bloody Mary and start looking for a woman who would be a much better match for her son Brad.

Sibling Rivalry

Peter Van Husen is an expert at taking a simple problem and making a complicated mess. For example, he has put himself neatly in the middle between Mindy and Sandi Cooper, sisters who are both attractive and bright and interested in him. While Peter find Mindy the more appealing sister, he is unable to resist Sandi's more obvious charms...

"I guess there's no need for introductions," Mindy said after letting herself into her apartment and finding Sandi sprawled across the couch watching a rerun of Bewitched.

"Of course not!" Sandi jumped up and crossed the small living room to give Peter a hug. "Peter and I are old friends. He took me out to dinner the other night."

"He did?" Mindy asked, surprised. "I didn't hear about that."

Peter laughed a little nervously. Boy, oh boy. His dinner date with Sandi had ended in a wrestling match with her as the aggressor and Peter as the all too willing victim. While he wasn't exactly sorry that he'd taken Sandi out, he could tell that Mindy wasn't too thrilled by the news. "Yes, I took Sandi out to the Shoreline."

"And back to your place for coffee and dessert," Sandi reminded him as she wriggled under his arm. "We had a wonderful time, didn't we, Peter?"

Looking from her sister back to Peter with disgust, Mindy changed the subject. "Sandi, Peter and I want you to find some information out from Bernard Morton. That shouldn't be too difficult since you're also having a 'wonderful time' with him every Thursday evening."

"Like what kind of information?"

"Ask him what he knows about Fritz's murder."

"Is this for the newspaper or is it official police business? Because if it's for the paper, I want to write the story. I'm tired of not getting any bylines."

"That's because you never turn any stories in," Mindy reminded her, "but if you get anything we can use, then feel free to write it up. You are allegedly a reporter, after all."

"It's hard to write up those boring stories," Sandi complained, "but writing about Bernard would be a piece of cake. He is a pretty fascinating man." Running a hand across Peter's broad chest, she added, "And if it helped you out, Peter, then I'd be glad to do whatever I possibly could. You're a pretty fascinating man too."

Peter moved an inch or two away from Sandi's hand. It was embarrassing to have Sandi coming on so strong in front of Mindy. He felt like he was cheating.

"Good. Then maybe we'll be able to find something out that will help Peter solve the murder--although I really don't think Bernard had anything to do with it." Mindy opened the door of her apartment. "It looks like we're through for tonight, Peter. Thanks for the coffee."

"You two had coffee?" Sandi asked.

"Just coffee," Mindy assured her. "That's all Peter and I will ever have."

Peter felt crushed. Mindy was a nice woman, the kind of woman that he should be with. She was down to earth and stable. They could have a nice life together. Why couldn't he settle down and date her instead of doing stupid things like going to bed with every woman he met?

He carefully untangled himself from Sandi's clutches. "Why don't the three of us get together once you've talk to Morton?" he suggested.

Mindy looked at him coolly. "I think I'll leave this mystery in your capable hands, Officer Van Husen. Since you and Sandi already have a 'working relationship,' I'm sure you two will be able to solve Fritz's murder quickly."

She was definitely steamed. Did that mean she was jealous? Peter hoped so because he was starting to realize that Mindy Cooper was definitely the woman for him.

Whodunnit?

The murder of Fritz Weiss has remained unsolved in Schuyler Square. Although Fritz didn't have many friends, he also didn't seem to have any enemies. Why someone would want to kill the mild mannered scientist is a mystery that will turn out to be linked to a much bigger puzzle...

"I think we've been barking up the wrong tree," Mindy Cooper announced. She was driving back to Schuyler Square with Peter Van Husen after a completely unproductive meeting with Fritz's ex-wife. "No one killed Fritz because of passion."

Peter glanced over at her with interest. "How do you know that?"

"Because I used to work with Fritz. The man had absolutely no passion in him. He was practically bloodless."

"What's your point?"

"We've been thinking that someone wanted to get rid of Fritz because of love gone wrong. Isn't that why we visited his ex-wife? Wasn't she a suspect?"

Peter laughed. "No, we wanted to see if she knew of anyone who wanted to kill him. My money is still on your ex-fiance. I think Bernard Morton got rid of Fritz because of that whole Fat Off mess and that wouldn't be a crime of passion. That was all about ego and bucks. Plenty of bucks."

"That makes no sense. Bernard and Fritz were partners. Besides, Bernard doesn't like to get his hands dirty. He'd never kill anyone. All he had to do was fire Bernard."

"Maybe Fritz knew too much. Maybe Bernard felt like he didn't have any choice."

"I still don't think he's the type to commit murder," Mindy replied. "I think Mavis Schuyler is a far more likely suspect."

"Mavis? She's definitely not the type to commit murder! Besides, she doesn't have a motive."

Mindy experienced a flash of jealousy. Was it possible that Peter was still in love with Mavis? No way. She couldn't figure out how he'd ever been involved with her in the first place. Peter was handsome, smart and decent. Mavis was...blech.

They reached Mindy's apartment. The lights were on so Mindy knew that her sister Sandi was home. Too bad; she had hoped to invite Peter up for a nightcap. "Well," she said, not wanting the evening to end, "thanks for bringing me along tonight. It's too bad it was a dead end."

"Are you still interested in helping me figure this whole thing out?"

"Of course I am! What's our next move?"

"You might not like it," Peter warned.

"What? I'll go along with anything to figure out who killed Fritz. It really bothers me to think that there's a murderer walking around Schuyler Square."

"You're going to need to reestablish a relationship with Bernard. Maybe he'll open up to you."

Mindy shook her head. "I don't think that's possible. He's still furious with me for dumping him. Besides, I don't think I'd be able to pull it off since I really don't think he did it."

"Then how about your sister? Think she'd be willing to talk to Bernard?"

"Peter, you honestly think Bernard is involved in Fritz's murder?"

"I'd bet my pension on it."

"Then I'll ask Sandi. I'm sure she'll help you out. She's never been able to resist a man in uniform--or any other man for that matter. Come on up and we'll ask her right now. The sooner we solve this mystery, the better."

Proletariat Trollop?

In Schuyler Square, the path to true love is seldom smooth. Case in point: Tyler Schuyler. Tyler’s heart was broken when his fiancée, Mindy Cooper, dropped him for her rich, handsome boss. Since Tyler is also rich and handsome, he can’t quite figure out why Mindy preferred a Warren Beatty lookalike over him. Still recuperating from love gone wrong, Tyler is doing his best to avoid his brother’s girlfriend, the strange Claudine. Although Claudine arrived in Scuyler Square claiming to prefer the simple life over the trappings of the wealthy, her attitude has done a complete reversal and now she seems interested in pursuing two things: a really great pedicure and Tyler.

“Seriously, Claudine, you need to leave me alone.” Tyler looked at his brother’s girlfriend with annoyance. While he didn’t dislike Claudine, he definitely wasn’t crazy about the way she followed him around all the time, like a puppy on the trail of a freshly roasted sausage.

Claudine smiled at him through half closed eyes. Eyes that wore more makeup than a Vogue cover girl and that were nothing remotely like the naked eyelids Claudine had arrived in Schuyler Square with. “I don’t mean to annoy you, Tyler. I’m merely trying to get to know you better. After all, your brother and I might get married some day. That means we’ll be related.”

Removing Claudine’s hand from his knee, Tyler grimaced. “Yeah, you’ll be my sister-in-law if that ever happens. No offense, but I’m really not interested in getting to know you in any way else. If you’re engaged to Brad, why are you always coming on to me?”

“Because I find you wildly exciting,” Claudine purred. “Plus, I think you have more of a future than Brad.”

“What are you talking about? Brad’s running Schuyler Industries now. He’s the one with the future.”

Claudine shook her head. “Brad’s running Schuyler Industries into the ground.  You’re the one who should be at the helm. You’re the one with talent.”

In spite of himself, Tyler felt a flush of gratitude toward Claudine. It was about time that someone noticed that he wasn’t the loser little brother in the Schuyler family. He sure hadn’t heard anything like that from Mindy. “I don’t know about that,” he said modestly.

“I do,” Claudine assured him. “As a matter of fact, I—“

“Hey, guys, what’s happening?” Brad entered the family room, a goofy smile on his face.

Tyler looked at his big brother with a mixture of relief and irritation. While he didn’t really like Claudine, it was pretty nice to hear her tell him how great he was. On the other hand, Tyler knew he wasn’t up to starting anything with Claudine. The last thing he needed was another mess and getting involved with his brother’s girlfriend had mess written all over it.

“Not much,” Tyler replied. “I was just leaving.”

“You don’t have to go,” Brad told him. “As a matter of fact, I’d like you to record this.”

“Record what?”

“This.” Dramatically Brad dropped to one knee in front of Claudine. “Get your phone,” He ordered Tyler. “This is going on YouTube.”

“What is?”

Brad pulled a small velvet box out of his hip pocket and slowly brought it up in front of Claudine’s astonished face. “Are you ready?” he asked Tyler.

Obediently, Tyler found his phone and began recording the bizarre scene that was unfolding in front of him.

“Claudine, you are my day and my night,” Brad said solemnly. “You are my reason for living, the cinnamon on my oatmeal, the angel on my Christmas tree. Will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Bradley Schuyler?”

The cinnamon on my oatmeal? Tyler almost began to laugh but the desire withered away as he realized what was happening. Oh my gosh, she’s going to say yes! How can she marry Brad after coming on to me two minutes ago?

Pretty easily, apparently. Taking the box out of Brad’s upturned palm, Claudine opened it, a gasp of delight escaping as she gazed at the enormous diamond nestled inside. “Oh, Brad! It’s huge!”

“Five carats,” Brad replied. “I know you’ve always looked down on crass materialistic items like diamonds but…”

“Not when they’re a symbol of true love,” Claudine assured him as she jammed the ring onto her ring finger.

“Is that a yes?”

“How could I say no? I’m going to be your wife and have the best brother-in-law in the world!”  Claudine threw her arms around Brad.

“Brad, what are you doing?” Brad and Tyler’s mother barged into the room, her eyes on fire. “You stole that ring from my safe! It belonged to my mother and there’s no way you’re giving it to that proletariat trollop!”

Claudine smiled up at her future mother-in-law sweetly. "Too late, Mavis. He already has."

Wanting to Change Your Life Doesn't Mean It's Going to Happen

Peter Van Husen is handsome, brave, kind but unfortunately not too bright. While he wants to change his ways, he doesn't seem to have the basic will power to do that. Peter is trying but he's not trying hard enough...

"Why does my life continually get messed up?" Peter Van Husen asked himself after returning to his empty house. Empty house, empty life--all exactly what he deserved. He never should have cheated on his wife with Mavis Schuyler. He never should have gotten seduced into thinking that he'd be able to leave his working class world and move up into the world that Mavis inhabited. If only he hadn't been such an idiot...

Resolutely, Peter put all thoughts of what a complete idiot he was out of his head and focused instead on getting a cold beer out of the fridge and a pizza out of the freezer. What was done was done. He needed to think about his future and what he could do about it.

The house phone rang just as Peter was settling into his recliner. Glaring at it, he made a mental note to cut off service the next day. A house phone was hardly necessary when the only people who called him on it were telemarketers and the pharmacy calling to remind him that his prescriptions were filled.

"Yes?" he barked into the receiver.

"Don't bite my head off," the female voice on the other end of the line requested. "I only called to see if you're free for dinner."

"Who is this?"

The woman chuckled softly. "Sandy Cooper. I'm hurt that you didn't recognize my voice, Peter. If you'd give me your cell number, we wouldn't have this problem."

"Sandy." Peter paused. He liked Sandy well enough but truthfully, she scared him a little. She was so aggressive, so sure of herself, so positive that being with her for an evening was like winning the lottery--which it kind of was if all Peter was interested in was a meaningless night of lust. But what about Mindy? He could hardly go out for dinner--and later to bed--with Sandy while at the same time pursuing a relationship with her sister.

"Are you there? Hello?"

"I'm here. I was just thinking."

"Don't do that," Sandy advised. "I never do. It gives you wrinkles. So are you free for dinner?"

Peter smelled the pizza burning in his oven and the beer he was drinking suddenly tasted  bitter and cheap. Dinner at a real restaurant with unburned food and a better grade of beer sounded very inviting.

"Why not?" he asked. "I'll pick you up in half an hour."

Replacing the receiver, it occurred to Peter that there was a reason why his life continually got messed up: it happened over and over and over because he was the one in charge of it.

Some People Handle Rejection Much Better Than Other People

Although Mavis Schuyler broke up with Peter Van Husen over a year ago, she can't deny that every time she sees the handsome police officer her heart beats a little faster. To discover him with Mindy Cooper, one of her least favorite people, does more than make her heart beats faster. It makes Mavis want to show Mindy that Mindy will never, ever be in Mavis' league...

"Peter! What are you doing here?"

Half rising, Peter smiled politely at the woman who had pretty much helped him royally screw up his life. "Hello, Mavis."

Striding across the small coffee shop, Mavis pulled out a chair and sat down at the table where Peter and Mindy were having coffee. "How have you been?" she asked, focusing on Peter and ignoring Mindy. "I suppose you're busy working on that dreary little murder case."

"That's just what Mindy and I were doing," Peter replied. "I hope you don't mind but we were just about to leave."

"Surely you have a few minutes to chat," Mavis insisted. "I wanted to speak to you professionally."

"Would you like me to leave?" Mindy politely asked.

Finally, Mavis glanced across the table. "Yes, that would be nice," she said. "I wouldn't want what I'm about to say to ended up in the Schuyler Square Times."

"I'm sure Mindy wouldn't do that," Peter began but Mindy interrupted him. "It's all right, Peter. I'll wait for you outside. Lovely seeing you again, Mavis."

Mavis glared in response. As soon as Mindy was gone, Mavis shook her head. "That woman! She broke Tyler's heart to marry Bernard Morton and then she dropped him for absolutely no good reason. I'll never know what men see in someone like her--she's so average. I hope you aren't getting drawn into her web, Peter. You deserve better." Placing a ringed hand on his knee she squeezed lightly. "Much, much better."

Uncomfortably, Peter pulled his leg out from under her grasp. "What was it you wanted to talk about, Mavis?"

"I need your help gathering information on this woman my other son is dating. I don't have any hard evidence but I think she might be some kind of an escaped convict. There's something extremely fishy about her."

"Mavis, I don't do that kind of work. You need to hire a private detective."

"But I couldn't trust anyone the way I trust you." Mavis leaned forward and blinked seductively into Peter's face. "You're the most trustworthy man I've ever known."

Peter looked uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Mavis, but I'm not the man you want. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get going. Mindy's waiting for me."

Mavis returned her hand to Peter's knee and squeezed hard. "Actually, Peter, you're exactly the man I want. Still. What do you think?"

Peter swallowed hard. "I think I want to get out of here. Now." Without another word he bolted from the coffee shop leaving a surprised Mavis behind.

"Well, well, well," Mavis chuckled to herself. "It looks like that crush Peter had on me last year hasn't gone away. I'll just have to use that to my advantage." With a little luck she could have some more fun with Peter and get that annoying Claudine out of her life once and for all.

Pampered is Good

Brad Schuyler returned to his hometown of Schuyler Square to reclaim his spot as heir to the Schuyler fortune. Following closely on his heels was his girlfriend, Claudine. Although Claudine claims not to be interested in anything remotely materialistic, life in Schuyler Manor has made her realize that pampered isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

"I can't believe this. You want me to work for my mother? What about your plan that we buy a farm and grow organic raspberries?" Brad Schuyler stared at his girlfriend, transfixed as always by Claudine's commanding nature and take charge attitude. She was so calm about everything, so sure she knew the right answer to every problem. Brad was more in love with her than he'd ever imagined possible.

"It makes sense, Brad," Claudine replied. "You are going to inherit the business some day, aren't you?"

"Well, sure, with Tyler."

Claudine's eyes brightened. "Then you should know how to run things."

"Honey, I do know how to run the business. I worked there for years before I left. Frankly, it's boring and when I do inherit it I plan to sell everything and use the money to buy that farm we were talking about. I want to do something honest with my life, something that matters. I thought that's what you wanted to do too."

"Running Schuyler Industries would probably contribute a lot more to society than growing wizened raspberries and selling them at Farmer's Markets in the tri-county area. Just think of the power that you and Tyler will have--and the money!"

"I didn't think power and money mattered to you."

Claudine quickly backpedaled. "They don't--except when people use them properly and I know that you and Tyler would do that. Besides, I might like to work for the company as well."

Brad frowned. "As what?"

"I'm not sure yet. Perhaps I could do some job shadowing. What's Tyler working at these days?"

"Mom put him in hr."

"HR?"

"Human Resources. You know, insurance and all that crap. Personnel."

"I've always wanted to work in personnel," Claudine said thoughtfully.

"Since when?"

"Since forever. We really don't know each other too well, Brad. Maybe if we all work at Schuyler Industries we'll be able to learn a lot more about how we all tick. Do you think you could arrange it for me to start shadowing Tyler tomorrow?"

"I guess so--"

"Perfect!" Claudine kissed Brad hastily. "I've got to run. I'm getting a pedi and a mani this morning plus I've got an appointment for highlights."

"You're kidding me! You've never done anything like that before."

Claudine smiled. "That's because I never knew how good it felt to have money before. See you later, Brad."

Leaving Schuyler Manor with Brad's credit card tucked in her purse, Claudine smiled a little sadly. Brad was a dear and she was going to hate breaking his heart but it was Tyler Schuyler who got her motor running and she planned on doing something about that in the very near future. Starting tomorrow...

And the Contender Is

“The first thing we need to do is figure out if Fritz had any enemies.” Peter Van Husen poured sugar into his coffee followed by a healthy dollop of cream while Mindy watched enviously. If she used sugar and cream, she’d gain at least five pounds before she was finished drinking her cup of coffee. “Did you know of any?”

Mindy shook her head. “Fritz didn’t really strike me as the type of person who had any enemies, although he didn’t strike me as the type of person who had any friends either. He was pretty much your basic independent type.”

“Was he married?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. He gave me the impression that he was single. Maybe he was divorced.”

“Did he hang out with anyone at work?”

Mindy almost snorted coffee out her nose but caught herself in time. “Are you joking? No one hangs out with anyone at Kutrate Kemicals. It’s like that movie Joe Versus the Volcano—all grey and dismal and the only thing anyone is looking forward to is getting out of there at the end of the day.”

“Sounds pretty bad.”

“It is,” Mindy assured him, “for the peons. The people at the top have it pretty good.”

“Was Fritz one of those people?”

“Hardly!”

“But he was a scientist. A chemist. That’s a pretty good field to be in, isn’t it?”

“Maybe at a normal place but not at Kutrate. Truly, the only person who has it made there is the boss. Bernard Morton.”

“Your ex-fiance.”

Mindy flashed her eyes at Peter. “Give me a little credit for coming to my senses before making it all the way to the altar. At least I wasn’t that dumb.”

The vaguely judgmental look in Peter’s bright blue eyes faded a touch. “What did you see in a guy like that?”

“Other than the fact that he’s rich and gorgeous?”

“He’s also selfish and an ego manic.”

Mindy shrugged. “For a long time I convinced myself that those things didn’t matter. Bernard can be quite charming when he wants to be.”

“How’d Bernard get along with Fritz?”

“Pretty much like he got along with everyone else. As long as you suck up to Bernard, you’re OK. It’s when you challenge him that you’re in trouble.”

“Did Fritz ever challenge him?”

Mindy thought back to when Fritz wanted to break away from Bernard and Kutrate Kemicals and make Fat Off on his own. He hadn’t done too well with that plan—or maybe he had! Maybe Bernard found out about Fritz’s plan and killed him! “Well, sort of. Kutrate Kemicals planned to produce a weight loss spray that Fritz invented. Fritz was pretty mad that he wasn’t going to get as much money from the spray as he thought he would.”

“Why wasn’t he?”

“Bernard was cheating him,” Mindy said.

“That would explain why Fritz would kill Bernard but it wouldn’t explain why Bernard would kill Fritz.”

“If Bernard killed Fritz and you’re right but isn’t it possible that Bernard realized what Fritz was up to and decided to get rid of him before Fritz could make any trouble for him?”

“It sure is,” Peter agreed. “Bernard Morton’s still the number one suspect in my book. No one else has any kind of motive. Plus—“

“Plus you just don’t like him,” Mindy finished for him.

“No, I don’t. I know I should be objective but it’s impossible for me with that guy. He’s a user and I can’t stand users.”

Mindy remembered how Peter had been having an affair with Mavis Schuyler, the Queen of All Users and wondered if his bitterness could be traced back to that mess.  “All I know is that my next boyfriend is going to  be a lot more of a giver than a taker,” she told him.

Peter raised dark blond eyebrows. “And are there any contenders for that title at the moment?”

Mindy met his eyes. “I’m not sure,” she replied, “but I’m starting to think that there just might be…”

All You Broads Are Alike

Every woman over the age of 40 knows how special a date with a handsome, charming, wealthy man can be. Given the right circumstances, it’s even possible to leave charming out of that equation. That is what Mavis Schuyler has chosen to do regarding her late night date with Bernard Morton. Bernard is most definitely handsome and he’s almost as wealthy as Mavis but the charm factor seems to be on a permanent hiatus from his overbearing personality…

When the front doorbell of Schuyler Manor rang at precisely 11:22, Mavis felt her heart flutter. It had to be Bernard, presenting himself for the date she had so artfully arranged. Smoothing her freshly frosted hair with one hand as she pulled her stomach in tightly, Mavis walked quickly to the front door. She so wanted this date to go well. Bernard might not be the most enjoyable man she’d ever been around but he was gorgeous and available and she was getting a little tired of not having an appropriate escort to take her to the club.

“Bernard! Hello!” Mavis said brightly as she opened the door. Bernard was looking exceptionally Warren Beatty-esque that evening. He was wearing a dark blue cashmere turtleneck, a tweed jacket and blue jeans, a casual look that suited him almost too well. Mavis suddenly felt overdressed in the silver lame hostess gown that she had chosen. “Please, come in,” she urged.

“What a night,” Bernard groused, stepping into the foyer. “I need a drink. Where’s your bar?”

“Why don’t we go into the library?” Mavis suggested. “I can pour you a drink in there.”

“Make it a double,” Bernard ordered. “Or a triple. Better yet, give me a bottle of bourbon and let me pour.”

Leading Bernard into the walnut paneled library, Mavis paused as she hoped that Bernard would notice how fetching she looked in the dim, dancing light from the fireplace. “What on earth is wrong?” she questioned in a throaty voice.

“I just had a lousy date with Sandy Cooper,” Bernard informed her, flopping down on the leather couch. “All she did was yak about getting married. Why do all you broads think that marriage is the answer to everything? And where’s my drink?”

Silently, Mavis moved to the bar and found two bottles of bourbon—one the good stuff her late husband used to drink and the second bottle the cheap brand they gave to guests they didn’t like. After a moment’s hesitation, she poured Bernard’s drink from the second bottle. After all, she didn’t have to like the man to want to marry him. Handing it to him, she sat down in the couch positioned across from his.

“Really, Bernard, do you honestly think that I want to hear you talk about your date with another woman while you’re on a date with me?”

Bernard stared at her over the rim of his glass. “Is that what this is? A date?”

“Why do you think I’m so dressed up?”

“I don’t know. You’re always dressed like you’re about to attend a coronation. I thought you asked me over so we could discuss business.”

“We don’t really have a business together now that Fat Off is dead in the water.”

“True, but as the two wealthiest residents of Schuyler Square, it’s always fun to get together and compare stock portfolios.”

This man was as dense as a box of rocks. “Yes, that is fun but that’s not why I invited you over tonight.” Mavis leaned forward seductively, knowing that her hostess gown fell open just enough to give Bernard a peek of her still taut body. “I’d like to get to know you better, Bernard. As a man.”

“You want to get to know me as a man? You aren’t a man.”

Make that a box of rocks that had been buried for the past ten thousand years. “No, I mean you as a man. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to be more than simply an acquaintance.”

Shaking his head, Bernard set his glass down on the side table with a thump. “Oh, brother. Don’t pull that crap on me, Mavis. What you’re saying is that you want to marry me too! All you broads are alike.”

Mavis wasn’t insulted. If anything, she was challenged by Bernard’s rude comment. “No, we aren’t, Bernard. And if you’ll give me half a chance, I’ll prove to you that I’m nothing like any other ‘broad’ you’ve ever dated.”

Bernard’s gorgeous hazel eyes met her own. “You’re on, babe,” he replied. “Prove it.”