The Easiest Diet in the World

Something was up and Tiffany planned on finding out just what that something was. Walking through the front door of her aunt's house, Tiffany called out loudly, "Hello! Aunt Mavis? Are you home?" Silence.

"Where is she?" Rex asked from behind her.

"I told you she'd be out. She just about lives at the Schuyler Square Country Club. She must be over there swilling her usual three martini dinner."

Rex stopped and looked around the enormous front hallway, his eyes growing bigger as he took in the marble floor, the enormous chandelier, the curved stairway. "Wow. This looks like something out of the Beverly Hillbillies. It's really nice."

Tiffany shrugged. "It's OK. I hated living here though. Aunt Mavis is a pain in the butt."

"Who cares if you get to live here?"

"Oh, believe me, you'd care after awhile. She's all about image and she was always on me about losing weight."

"Why?" Rex asked. "You look great to me."

Tiffany smiled at him. Rex might not have graduated from high school but he really was a great boyfriend. "Well, I wouldn't mind dropping a few pounds. Now come on, let's look in her desk. She keeps everything important in there."

Tiffany led Rex through the pink and gold living room and into the library where her aunt had a large walnut desk and immediately began rifling through the drawers. Rex eyed her nervously. "What if your aunt comes home? Won't she be mad to find us here?"

"She'll kill both of us," Tiffany told him, "but don't worry; she's not coming home anytime soon. She never gets home from the country club before midnight. We're safe--well, hello! What's this?" Tiffany pulled out an envelope marked FAT OFF.

"What is it?" Rex asked, peering over her shoulder.

"I don't know. Why would Aunt Mavis have anything called Fat Off? She doesn't have an ounce of fat on her entire body--except between her ears." Tiffany peeked inside the envelope and frowned.

"What is it?" Rex asked again.

"It's a letter Aunt Mavis wrote about some product that Kutrate Kemical is making called Fat Off. It sounds like it's some kind of spray that you use and it makes you lose weight." Tiffany lifted her eyes and looked at Rex. "Aunt Mavis seems to know about a spray people can use that can make them lose weight--I can't believe it. It sounds like it would be the easiest diet in the world. Do you have any conception of what that means?"

"That there will be a lot of skinny people around if it works?"

"It means that Aunt Mavis is investing in it and it means that we can invest in it too and that neither of us will ever have to work a single day in our lives! We're talking zillions!" Tiffany stopped before adding coyly, "I mean, if we're still together that is."

In less than a second, Rex had dropped onto one knee. "Tiffany," he said in the most sincere voice she had ever heard in all of her seventeen years, "will you marry me?"

"What the hell is going on here?" a voice asked from the doorway. Tiffany and Rex swirled their heads and saw Tiffany's cousin Brad standing ten feet away from them