Proletariat Trollop?

In Schuyler Square, the path to true love is seldom smooth. Case in point: Tyler Schuyler. Tyler’s heart was broken when his fiancée, Mindy Cooper, dropped him for her rich, handsome boss. Since Tyler is also rich and handsome, he can’t quite figure out why Mindy preferred a Warren Beatty lookalike over him. Still recuperating from love gone wrong, Tyler is doing his best to avoid his brother’s girlfriend, the strange Claudine. Although Claudine arrived in Scuyler Square claiming to prefer the simple life over the trappings of the wealthy, her attitude has done a complete reversal and now she seems interested in pursuing two things: a really great pedicure and Tyler.

“Seriously, Claudine, you need to leave me alone.” Tyler looked at his brother’s girlfriend with annoyance. While he didn’t dislike Claudine, he definitely wasn’t crazy about the way she followed him around all the time, like a puppy on the trail of a freshly roasted sausage.

Claudine smiled at him through half closed eyes. Eyes that wore more makeup than a Vogue cover girl and that were nothing remotely like the naked eyelids Claudine had arrived in Schuyler Square with. “I don’t mean to annoy you, Tyler. I’m merely trying to get to know you better. After all, your brother and I might get married some day. That means we’ll be related.”

Removing Claudine’s hand from his knee, Tyler grimaced. “Yeah, you’ll be my sister-in-law if that ever happens. No offense, but I’m really not interested in getting to know you in any way else. If you’re engaged to Brad, why are you always coming on to me?”

“Because I find you wildly exciting,” Claudine purred. “Plus, I think you have more of a future than Brad.”

“What are you talking about? Brad’s running Schuyler Industries now. He’s the one with the future.”

Claudine shook her head. “Brad’s running Schuyler Industries into the ground.  You’re the one who should be at the helm. You’re the one with talent.”

In spite of himself, Tyler felt a flush of gratitude toward Claudine. It was about time that someone noticed that he wasn’t the loser little brother in the Schuyler family. He sure hadn’t heard anything like that from Mindy. “I don’t know about that,” he said modestly.

“I do,” Claudine assured him. “As a matter of fact, I—“

“Hey, guys, what’s happening?” Brad entered the family room, a goofy smile on his face.

Tyler looked at his big brother with a mixture of relief and irritation. While he didn’t really like Claudine, it was pretty nice to hear her tell him how great he was. On the other hand, Tyler knew he wasn’t up to starting anything with Claudine. The last thing he needed was another mess and getting involved with his brother’s girlfriend had mess written all over it.

“Not much,” Tyler replied. “I was just leaving.”

“You don’t have to go,” Brad told him. “As a matter of fact, I’d like you to record this.”

“Record what?”

“This.” Dramatically Brad dropped to one knee in front of Claudine. “Get your phone,” He ordered Tyler. “This is going on YouTube.”

“What is?”

Brad pulled a small velvet box out of his hip pocket and slowly brought it up in front of Claudine’s astonished face. “Are you ready?” he asked Tyler.

Obediently, Tyler found his phone and began recording the bizarre scene that was unfolding in front of him.

“Claudine, you are my day and my night,” Brad said solemnly. “You are my reason for living, the cinnamon on my oatmeal, the angel on my Christmas tree. Will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Bradley Schuyler?”

The cinnamon on my oatmeal? Tyler almost began to laugh but the desire withered away as he realized what was happening. Oh my gosh, she’s going to say yes! How can she marry Brad after coming on to me two minutes ago?

Pretty easily, apparently. Taking the box out of Brad’s upturned palm, Claudine opened it, a gasp of delight escaping as she gazed at the enormous diamond nestled inside. “Oh, Brad! It’s huge!”

“Five carats,” Brad replied. “I know you’ve always looked down on crass materialistic items like diamonds but…”

“Not when they’re a symbol of true love,” Claudine assured him as she jammed the ring onto her ring finger.

“Is that a yes?”

“How could I say no? I’m going to be your wife and have the best brother-in-law in the world!”  Claudine threw her arms around Brad.

“Brad, what are you doing?” Brad and Tyler’s mother barged into the room, her eyes on fire. “You stole that ring from my safe! It belonged to my mother and there’s no way you’re giving it to that proletariat trollop!”

Claudine smiled up at her future mother-in-law sweetly. "Too late, Mavis. He already has."