Just Tell the Truth

"Tyler, I know you feel lousy now but you need to snap out of it," Brad Schuyler told his younger brother. "It's been a week or so now. Mindy dumped you. Time to move on."

Tyler glared at Brad. "Aren't you the guy who came home a few months ago all bummed because Claudine dumped you? Aren't I entitled to feel a little bit lousy when my girlfriend of almost a year decides to marry her boss?"

"Well, sure you can feel lousy but don't dwell on it for too long. If Mindy was right for you, she wouldn't be marrying Bernard Morton. The difference between your situation and mine is that Claudine and I got back together. You need to face the fact that Mindy is never coming back to you."

"Yes," Tyler said, an odd expression on his face, "Claudine is a real treasure. I can tell that she's completely loyal to you, Brad. I don't suppose she'd ever look at another guy."

"Of course she wouldn't. Don't tell Mom because I don't think she likes Claudine too much but I'm going to ask Claudine to marry me."

Tyler sighed loudly. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Brad."

"Why not?"

"I didn't want to tell you this but your girlfriend has been all over me for the past few days. I think she's kind of interested in me."

"Are you out of your mind? Claudine feels sorry for you. She's just trying to be nice."

Tyler raised his eyebrows. "Does she think she's being nice every time she grabs my knee or brushes up against me?"

"Just because your girlfriend dumped you don't try to make it seem like my girlfriend is cheating on me. I thought we were past all this crap, Tyler. Aren't you ever going to grow up?"

"I'm trying to tell you that your girlfriend has behaved inappropriately," Tyler said.

"And I'm telling you that you're mistaken. Claudine would never do that. You're too much of a consumer for Claudine to ever be interested in you. Plus you eat red meat."

"What are you two boys talking about?" Claudine came into Tyler's bedroom. "Not me, I hope."

"Claudine, what's that you're wearing?" Brad demanded. "A fur coat?"

Claudine swirled in a large circle. "Isn't it divine? Your mother gave it to me after lunch. We had steak tartar. You know, Brad, I think I've been wrong about all my over the top, idealistic viewpoints. It's much more fun wearing fur and eating meet." She turned to Tyler. "What do you think, Tyler?"

Looking at his brother's girlfriend, Tyler thought that he'd had enough of women, Schuyler Square and never saying what he thought. It was time to turn over a new leaf. From now on, he was saying exactly what he thought about everything. "I think it makes you look like a fat, middle class tramp," he said. He looked at his brother. "And I think you're an idiot if you continue to date this woman. Can't you see she's poison?"

"Poison! I'm the best thing that's ever happened to Brad!" Claudine insisted.

"What's the matter with you?" Brad asked.

"Not a thing. I feel better than I have in ages. Now if you two will excuse me, I'm going to call Mindy."

"Why would you do that? So she can hurt you again?"

"Because I want to tell her exactly what I think about the way she's treated me and when I'm done, I'm getting in my car and driving as far away from this town as I possibly can."