I Hope You Have a Long, Miserable Marriage Together

"Tyler! What are you doing here!" Mindy stared at her former boyfriend. It was totally out of character for Tyler to show up without calling first. Another thing that was totally out of character was the angry look on Tyler's cute face. During all the time that they had been together, Tyler was always the most low-key, serene person Mindy had ever met.

"I was going to call and ask if it was OK if I came over but then I thought 'why should I?' I mean, it's not like you showed a lot of consideration toward my feelings."

Uh oh. Mindy had the sinking feeling that she was about to get involved in an over the top confrontation with her ex over the somewhat shabby way she had treated him. Mindy was so not in the mood for that. She had enough on her plate dealing with her crazy mother, her selfish sister and her confusing feelings about her soon-to-be-husband. Now Tyler wanted to talk about how she had broken up with him? She didn't think so.

"This really isn't the best time for me. I'm right in the middle of something."

Surprisingly, Tyler pushed open the front door and stepped into Mindy's living room. That was another thing Tyler had ever done--act aggressively. Mindy felt a nudge of fear. Suppose her dumping Tyler had pushed him over the edge? What if he had come over to slap her around or kidnap her or worse? Mindy stood up straight and crossed her arms. "Tyler, I told you that I'm busy so please leave."

"Busy doing what? Planning your wedding to Mr. Big Shot Boss? Planning on how you'll be the next first lady of Schuyler Square once you have your rich hubby's money supporting you? Figuring out your honeymoon in Jamaica while I'm sitting in my bedroom at my mommy's house watching reruns of Arrested Development on Netflix?"

"Actually, I was just doing some hand laundry," Mindy told him. "Now would you get out of here? We don't have anything to say to each other."

"You might not have anything to say to me but I have some truths I'd like to share with you."

"Truths? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, my darling former girlfriend, that I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'm no longer going to keep my mouth shut about anything and I'm going to tell people exactly what I think of them and their behavior."

"Why on earth would you want to do that?"

"Because I"m tired of being Mr. Nice Guy, the local pushover. Mommy's Little Boy. A rich loser, a null set..."

Mindy sat down on the edge of her couch. "Is this going to take long because if it is, I'm going to get a fresh cup of coffee."

"No, it shouldn't take too long to tell you that I think you are the most selfish woman I've ever met."

"Even more than your mother?"

Tyler considered the question. "Almost as selfish as my mother," he amended. "You use people, you care only about yourself, you're cynical, hard-hearted and not nearly as wonderful a reporter as you seem to think you are. Plus you're inconsiderate, never put your dirty clothes in the hamper and you binge on sour cream and onion potato chips when you think no one is around and leave just the crumbs for the next person."

Mindy was surprisingly hurt. "You really think all those things about me?"

"I KNOW all those things about you! You deserve Bernard Morton, Mindy. I hope you have a long, miserable marriage together."

"Tyler, I know I didn't treat you very well and I am sorry about that. I guess I didn't realize how much you cared for me."

"I was in love with you, Mindy, but that's over. The next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who is worthy of my affection."

A knock on the front door interrupted them. Before Mindy could answer it, the door opened and Brad's girlfriend Claudine stepped in. "There you are!" she said to Tyler without bothering to glance in Mindy's direction. "I've been looking for you."

Crossing the room she took Tyler by the arm and led him out of the apartment. The door shut behind them, leaving Mindy alone and perplexed.

Do I really leave just the crumbs of the sour cream and onion potato chips for the next person? Is that the kind of woman I am?

Sadly, she knew that the answer was a resounding 'yes.' She also knew that she didn't plan on doing anything about it.