Happy New Year's, Schuyler Square!

Mavis Schuyler was not happy. Not in the least. It was New Year's Eve and the best party in all of Schuyler Square was being given by her former maid, Rosanne. Not only was the party being hosted by Rosanne and her husband Mike, it had been somehow crashed by Bernard Morton and all of his employees making the entire affair more like some kind of low brow bowling event instead of the festive soiree that Mavis typically threw. Well, it was closing in on midnight. As soon as the new year came in, she'd find her date and make him take her home. This particular joke had gone on long enough.

"Mother? What are you doing here?"

Tyler appeared at her elbow holding two glasses of champagne, his bow tie crooked. Mavis kissed her son's cheek as she reached for one of the glasses. "Darling--just what I needed. My date has vanished and I'm parched." Mavis drained the glass. "Now tell me what are you doing here?"

"I asked you first."

"Rosanne invited me. Now it's your turn."

"Mindy invited me."

"Good Lord, is Mindy Cooper here too? Did Rosanne invite the entire town?"

"It looks that way."

"Why is everyone from Kutrate Kemical invited?"

Tyler shrugged. "I guess Mr. Morton asked if he could combine the company's Christmas party with the party Rosanne and Mike were giving. He thought it would be more fun."

"He thought it would be cheaper," Mavis replied knowingly. "Bernard Morton is the best looking cheapskate I know."

"What do you know about him anyway?"

"Well, let's see. He's rich and handsome. What else does anyone need to know?"

"Do you think he's hiding anything?"

"Such as?" Mavis plucked the other glass of champagne out of Tyler's hand and drank it just as Mindy Cooper approached the two of them. "There you are!" Mindy said to Tyler. "I've been escaping from Bernard's clutches all night long--" Mindy stopped when she saw Mavis. Oh. Hello, Mavis."

"Mindy," Mavis said frostily. "Splendid. Are you reporting on the party for your little newspaper?"

Bernard Morton joined them, moving in smoothly like a snake. "Here's my date," he said, slipping an arm around Mindy's waist.

"Your date? I thought Mindy was with you," Mavis said to Tyler but Tyler had vanished into the crowd.

"Of course Mindy's with me," Bernard said smoothly. "How are you, Mavis?"

"Very well, Bernard. How are you?"

"Just great. Nice party, huh? Those lottery winners really know how to throw a bash."

"I understand that you decided to join ranks with Rosanne and Mike and have your party at the same time?"

"In for a penny, in for a pound. I told Rosanne and Mike that they'd be doing me a huge favor if we could split costs on this one. My Girl Friday here doesn't seem to know how to stay in a budget."

Mavis noticed how strained Mindy looked. Hmmm. Interesting. "So, Bernard," Mavis inquired, "do you have any resolutions for the new year that you'd like to share?"

"Just one," Bernard replied. "Before this year is over, I'm going to kiss my bachelor days good-bye."

Mindy no longer looked strained. Instead she looked like she might throw up. "Excuse me," she murmured

"Really, Bernard," Mavis said as soon as Mindy left them and raced toward the ladies' room, "isn't she a bit young for you?"

"Mindy? Not really. I think she'd make a fine Mrs. Bernard Morton. Don't you?"

Mavis changed the subject. "How's business?"

"Excellent. Really a great year."

"Why is that? Should I be investing in Kutrate Kemical?"

"Only if you want to make money. We are on the verge of a huge breakthrough, Mavis. It's going to set Schuyler Square on its ear and make me so much money that I'll be able to retire in style without worrying about that annoying fiscal cliff."

Mavis lowered her voice. "Is it legal?"

"Of course it is! Now ask me if it's ethical. I think you can guess the answer to that one."