Christmas Parties Are Expensive

Bernard Morton liked his new assistant. He liked her quite a bit. Mindy was attractive, bright and made one hell of a good cup of coffee. She was a huge improvement over his last seven administrative assistants. Mainly because she did what she was told to do, no questions asked. Well, a few questions but not too many. Bernard liked that too. It was such a chore to have to deal with underlings. Being the boss was great but being a leader pretty much sucked.

He was glad that he'd asked Mindy to go the company Christmas party with him. It would give her the opportunity to get to know him on a more personal basis. Who knew? If Mindy played her cards right, she might become Mr. Bernard Morton, an honor Bernard had only given to three previous women. Of course, none of those marriages worked out because Bernard had the misfortune to pick the wrong woman each time. Mindy might be different.

Bernard's telephone rang. Glancing at the caller i.d., he saw that it was from that annoying twit, Dudley, in accounting. Dudley was always bothering him about financial matters. Barely suppressing his sight, Bernard picked up his receiver. "What?" he barked.

"Good morning, sir. About the annual Christmas party?"

"You can't make it? That's all right, Dudley. Maybe next year."

"No, no, it's not that--do you have any idea of how much this party is going to cost the company?"

"It wasn't that expensive last year. Why should it be anymore now?"

"Because Ms. Cooper has apparently hired the most expensive caterer in all of Schuyler Square so the party will cost us at least three times what it cost last year. She's also booked the ballroom at the Schuyler Square Inn and hired a band."

Bernard felt his blood pressure rise. "What's wrong with the employee lunchroom and a karaoke machine?" he almost screamed. "And why isn't Ms. Cooper making the refreshments? All of my other administrative assistants always did the food! What's wrong with that woman?"

"I don't really know, sir. I suggest you ask her. I have another suggestion."

"What?"

"Well, you know that couple who just won the lottery? Rumor has it that they're throwing a big Christmas party the same night of our company's party. Why don't you call them up and ask if we can't come to their party too?"

Bernard considered the idea. It was pretty pushy but it would also save him a ton of cash. Plus, those lottery winners had money to burn. "Do you think they'd mind?"

"It never hurts to ask. They're having their party at the Schuyler Square Inn also. My wife has been invited."

"I see. So they're inviting anyone?"

After a stiff silence, Dudley replied, "It seems that way, sir."

"You do that. Call those lottery winners and ask if we can join forces. Tell them I'll pay for the appetizers if they pick up everything else. That way we can rent out the entire inn and really have a bash. Good thinking, Dudley."

"Don't you think it would be better if you made that call, sir?"

"No, I don't. I'm the boss and you work for me. You make the call. Let me know what they say. The party is next Wednesday, you know."

"Yes, sir," Dudley said resignedly.

Bernard hung up the phone, pleased with himself. Of course, he'd have to straighten Mindy out on a few things such as thrift and budgets, but all in all things were working out very well indeed. Why should he pay for a Christmas party if he could get someone else to do it instead?

"Ho, ho, ho," Bernard said out loud.