Getting Ready for Prom

Mavis couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so utterly and completely happy. Her darling son Brad was back home, that scoundrel Bernard Morton was allowing her to invest in his genius new product and her relationship with Vlad was quite pleasant. Not earth-shattering but definitely pleasant. At this point in her life, Mavis could appreciate pleasant. Of course, her other son Tyler was still dating that horrid Mindy Cooper but no one ever said that life was ever going to be totally perfect.

"Aunt Mavis?" Mavis looked up and winced as her niece Tiffany clomped into the room. Honestly, that girl had never learned to walk quietly. Why hadn't she learned that well bred people seldom clomped? Mavis squinted at her. Tiffany looked different. Was it her hair? No, that was still long and unruly. Her clothes? No, they were still vintage thrift shop in size extra extra large. But wait--Tiffany's pants weren't as sausage casings skin tight as they usually were. They actually looked a little...baggy. Was it possible that Tiffany, the Twinkie Queen, was actually losing weight?

"Hello, Tiffany. Why are you here?"

"That's what I love about you, Aunt Mavis. You cut right to the chase. No chit chat, no small talk. Just 'why are you here?' Don't you ever think that I might want to see you?"

"No."

Tiffany smirked. "You're right. I'm not here to see you. I want to get some of my mom's jewelry to wear to the prom."

Mavis couldn't keep the shock out of her voice. "You're going to the prom?"

"Don't sound so surprised. You know I have a boyfriend."

"I know you're dating someone who is too old for you as well as being extremely low brow. Your high school allows you to bring a date who is over 18?"

"What do they care? We're paying for the tickets! And Rex will look so hot in his tux. You should see him, Aunt Mavis but then again, maybe not. You might pull your cougar act and go after my man."

"I think you're safe, Tiffany. Unlike you, I have a few standards. I'll get your mother's jewelry but don't let your boyfriend pawn it."

"He doesn't need to pawn it."

"Why? Did he finally get a job?"

"No, but we're doing all right. We're planning on doing some investing."

Mavis laughed. "What on earth would you two invest in? A doughnut kiosk at the mall?"

Tiffany smiled mysteriously. "Something much bigger than that. Now would you please get my mom's jewelry box? I have an appointment to get my hair done." Tiffany yanked on her waistband to pull up her jeans.

"Are you losing weight?"

"I've dropped a few pounds."

"How? Are you dieting?"

"That's the only way I know how to low weight," Tiffany said. "Do you know of any other way, Aunt Mavis?" She smiled sweetly.

"Of course not," Mavis quickly replied. She was going to have to call Bernard and tell him to hurry along getting Fat Off on the shelves. If her niece Tiffany could lose weight on her own, then anyone could and there went more potential customers for the fat loss spray. "I'll be right back."

The moment her aunt left the room, Tiffany scooted to her aunt's desk and replaced the sheet of paper that she'd borrowed a few days earlier. No sense in letting Aunt Mavis know that Tiffany knew all about Fat Off. Really, there was no sense in letting that woman know anything. 

Aunt Mavis would never let me in on Fat Off. She's too selfish. It serves her right that Rex and I are going to sell her top secret formula to the competition.