Fat Loss in a Can?

“Let me get this straight: Kutrate Kemicals has discovered something that you spray in the air and it automatically makes you lose weight? How is that even possible?” Tyler Schuyler pushed a broom out of his way and leaned toward his girlfriend, Mindy Cooper. They were meeting in the janitor’s closet at Kutrate Kemicals, one of the few places where they could talk without being overheard or observed.

“I have no idea,” Mindy replied from her perch on a stack of neatly folded garbage bags. “But it’s true. Bernard told me that the company is extremely close to having it on the market.”

“Fat loss in a spray can,” Tyler mused. “I don’t get it. You just smell the air and lose weight?”

“Apparently. Can you imagine, Tyler? Kutrate Kemicals will make billions if it really works. People all over the planet would line up to buy it. Bernard said your mother might be investing too.”

“That isn’t surprising. Mother’s always had a knack for finding good investments. So what’s the hold up?”

“I guess right now the spray smells pretty bad. The chemist is trying to make it smell better before they move on to marketing.”

“Do they have a name yet?”

“I don’t know. Bernard can be quite close mouthed about most of the things that go on around here. I’m surprised I got as much as I did out of him.”

Tyler looked at Mindy shrewdly. “I think he wants to sleep with you,” he said.

“I sure hope he does! That seems to be the only way I’d ever get any more information out of him.”

“Mindy, I know you don’t mean that—what about us? Our future? Our plans?”

“Oh, Tyler, don’t be a dope. I didn’t say that I want to sleep with him, I just said that I hope he wants to sleep with me. With some men, sex is the only way to get what you want.”

“I don’t think I like how this conversation is going.”

“Then don’t think about it and don’t be silly. I’m not going to sleep with my boss but it doesn’t do any harm to let him think that I might, does it? I want to find out all I can about this fat loss in a can. If it works and isn’t made up of some deadly chemicals that destroy the environment and the dieter, then I say more power to Bernard Morton and Kutrate Kemicals. But if he’s hiding something…and I’m pretty sure that he is…then we need to find out what.”

Tyler paused. “So how are we going to do that?”

“You need to keep your eyes and ears open while you’re working on the line. Hasn’t anybody mentioned an exciting new weight loss product to you?”

“Are you kidding me? No one even talks to me while we’re working. And in the break room the only stuff I ever hear about is guy stuff—believe me, it never has anything to do with weight loss.”

“We should have gotten you into the lab instead of on the floor.” Mindy snapped her fingers. “That’s it! You need to intern as a chemist! Tell your supervisor that you’ve decided to go back to college for a degree in chemistry! I bet they’ll move you right away.”

“But I hate chemistry and the only formula I know is the one for water.”

“Tyler, you need to get with the program. If I can flirt with a disgusting ogre like Bernard Morton, then surely you can pretend to know a little something about chemistry.”

“Somehow I don’t think that’s the kind of thing you can fake.”

“Well, at least try. OK, my break is up.” Mindy kissed Tyler quickly. “I’ll see you tonight. Talk to your supervisor right away, Tyler. Time’s a-wasting.”

Mindy left the janitor’s closet and Tyler waited for a minute or two before following her out the door, his mind on the problem that his girlfriend had just handed to him. How would he ever fake any kind of interest in chemistry? It was like asking him to pretend to be smart enough to join Mensa. Not going to happen. There had to be some other way to find out more about the new fat loss product Kutrate Kemicals was making.

But how?