How to Land a Perfectly Horrible Job

"Mr. Morton, this is Mindy Cooper. She'd applying for the job as your administrative assistant."

Mindy squirmed uncomfortably under the steely gaze her potential boss gave her. She felt like his eyes had become lasers with her body being the target as he looked her up and down and up again, lingering for a few moments longer than she deemed necessary in certain spots. "How do you do, Mr. Morton?"

"What did you say your name is?" His voice was deep and sexy and matched his looks perfectly. Even if Mr. Morton had the most challenging personality in all of Schuyler Square, just being able to gaze at him every day was going to be a treat.

"Mindy Cooper." Mindy began to sweat. Suppose Mr. Morton was an avid reader of the local newspaper and recognized her name? She was fairly well known in town. She should have used a fake name.

"Mindy Cooper. Mindy Cooper. Why does that sound familiar to me?"

Mindy shrugged helplessly as Mr. Morton continued to peer at her intently. "Do you work at the Dairy Queen on the old highway?"

"Certainly not!" Mindy said.

It was Mr. Morton's turn to shrug. "You look just like the gal who always sells me my Dilly Bar. I'm very fond of Dilly Bars." He turned to the HR woman. "When can she start?"

"Tomorrow!" Mindy told him. What kind of place was this? Didn't they want to check her references or do a background check or anything like that? Why anyone at all could walk in off the street and start to work at Kutrate Kemicals. Mindy experienced a stab of disappointment. Maybe the chemical company didn't have anything to hide if it would hire any Tom, Dick or Dilly Bar peddler off the street. Oh, well. Even if I don't get a story out of working here I can earn a little extra cash for Christmas.

"Good. You're hired." Mr. Morton stepped forward and extended his hand. "Welcome aboard, Mindy. You can call me Bernard. Unless I'm mad at you. Then you have to call me Mr. Morton."

Laughing a little uneasily, Mindy shook his hand and looked over at the HR woman to see if she was laughing too. She wasn't. "How will I know if you're mad at me?" she asked.

"Easy," Bernard Morton replied, his handsome face smiling, "I'll call you Ms.Cooper when I'm ticked with you."

"Ummm, wouldn't it be easier just to tell me what I did wrong?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll do that too. Come on, I'll show you where you're going to work. I expect you to be here at 7:30 sharp tomorrow morning. Have my coffee ready. Black with three sugars. Make sure the temperature in the office is exactly 68 degrees and I don't like any dust on my desk so be sure to wipe it off the moment you get your coat off..."

Getting to her feet and following Bernard out of the HR office while listening to his long list of instructions, Mindy realized that there was going to be another perk working at Kutrate Kemicals: it was going to make going back to the newspaper look awfully good.