Schuyler Square Day 77 Blood Brothers

So far, this whole moving to a hick town in the middle of nowhere idea was falling flat on its face. Kirk Chandler sat at a booth in the Schuyler Square Family Feed Diner and moped. First of all, he was beyond irritated with everything in this stupid down being named Schuyler Square Whatever. Schuyler Square Movie House. Schuyler Square Library. Schuyler Square Family Feed Diner, one of your more revolting names for a restaurant. When he had complained about the overuse of the name Schuyler, Mindy Cooper had laughed at him. 'The name of the town is Schuyler Square, Kirk! What do you want them to name things?" Kirk could see her point but he was so tired of hearing the name 'Schuyler.' It made him sick. Schuyler this, Schuyler that--why the hell couldn't his real father had a less annoying last name than Schuyler? Then there was his relationship with Mindy, which had gotten so bad that they could no longer call it a relationship. It was more like a sinking boat heading right for the bottom of the ocean. And finally there was his work situation, or lack thereof. Things hadn't worked out at Schuyler College, he could hardly work at the newspaper since Mindy was the editor and he hadn't been able to find anything else that paid enough to keep   body and soul together. All in all, Kirk was developing a healthy loathing for the entire community of Schuyler Square.

"Hello, Kirk." 

Kirk looked up from his coffee and bread pudding to see his wormy half-brother Tyler standing next to his booth. Only Tyler didn't know they were half-brothers, at least Kirk didn't think he did. Truthfully, Tyler seemed to have his head so far up in the clouds that Kirk didn't think he was aware of much of anything that was going on around him. "Hey, Tyler. How are you doing?"

"Fine. Mind if I join you?"

It wasn't like Kirk had much of a choice so he gestured toward the vacant seat across from him. Tyler slid into the booth while his eyes slid around the restaurant like he was casing the joint. "I've been wanting to talk to you," he said in a low voice.

Kirk waited while he wondered what the heck Tyler Schuyler could want to talk to him about. They barely knew each other so the possibility that Tyler wanted to compare birthmarks was pretty remote. An idea hit Kirk: maybe Tyler wanted to tell him that he, Kirk, had been included in their father's will after all! Kirk felt his spirits kick up a notch. He could definitely use some good news like that. "What is it?" he finally asked after waiting for Tyler to unfold a paper napkin and place it in his lap. Tyler looked up and caught Kirk watching him. "One must always use a napkin, even if one isn't planning on ordering."

"Oh."

Tyler got right to the point. "I know we're brothers. Half-brothers," Tyler amended. "I know you're my dad's son."

This was looking better. "How'd you find that out?" Kirk asked.

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. How'd you find out?"

A small wave of superiority passed over Tyler's face. "God gave me two ears and one mouth. I've learned to use them all judiciously."

Kirk tried not to roll his eyes. Not only was his half-brother a worm,  he was a self-righteous smug one at that. "All right," he said evenly, "you know that we're half-brothers. I know that we're half-brothers. So what?"

"So blood is thicker than water."

This little twerp was downright annoying. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that I wash your hand and you wash mine. Or scratch each other's back if you will."

"Tyler, I have no idea of what you're talking about."

Again Tyler looked furtively around the restaurant. "I don't know if you're aware of the fact that my mother has a...friend staying with us."

Kirk stifled a laugh. The whole town knew that Mavis Schuyler had her live-in lover shacking up with her in Schuyler Manor where they undoubtedly spent all their free time rolling around on scads and scads of Schuyler money. Kirk felt just like Jan Brady--Schuyler, Schuyler, Schuyler! "So?"

"So Mother and I don't want him to stay there any more."

"So why don't you and 'mother' tell him to take a hike?"

Tyler squirmed uncomfortably. "We don't want to appear rude."

"Tyler, I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know why you're telling me all of this."

Tyler leaned forward. "Mother and I thought it might be nice if you helped us take care of our problem since we're related."

Kirk could no longer stifle his laugh. "Why would I do that? Up until this moment, no one in your vaunted family has so much as nodded at me on the street. Why would I help you or your mother?"

"We could pay you," Tyler said.

"To do what?"

Tyler looked confused. "To kill Peter Van Husen, of course."