What a Parasite

In Schuyler Square, Mavis Schuyler is looking forward to a date with Bernard Morton, a handsome, wealthy man she has long admired. Widowed for over a year, Mavis is ready to find another man to go through life with. Unfortunately, Bernard might not be the perfect choice as he is a person of interest to the police in the murder of chemist Fritz Weiss...

"Going out, Mavis?"

Mavis looked up from her dressing table and frowned. Claudine, dowdy, annoying, always there Claudine, stood framed in the doorway. Why was this woman still staying at her house? Why was her son Brad dating such an obvious loser? Where had Mavis erred in her mothering over the years? "No, I'm staying in," Mavis replied.

"Then why are you getting all gussied up?"

Mavis returned her attention to her makeup mirror. "I'm having a guest over later, Claudine, not that it's any of your business. It's customary to put a little makeup on before having a gentleman caller visit--not that I expect you to know anything about what is customary or about makeup." She glanced again at her son's girlfriend. "Although I suggest you give it a try."

"I don't believe in makeup," Claudine replied. "It's a trap created by a sexist society to make women feel insecure and inadequate while making billions off of those fears."

Mavis began applying blush. "Well, I for one am happy to fall into that trap. I see nothing wrong with improving upon what God gave me."

"Obviously," Claudine replied. "I suspect that you alone are responsible for supporting at least three major makeup companies."

"Was there something you wanted?" Claudine questioned.

"Yes. Brad sent me to ask you for some money. We're going out to dinner."

"I know this might be a crazy thought, but have either of you considered getting a job? I don't mind supporting Brad but I'm getting a tad tired of taking care of your needs too, Claudine. I'd think that such an independent person would be offended to keep on accepting money from me and living in my house for free while eating my food."

"I used to think that way," Claudine agreed, "until I saw how much money you had. I figure, why should I take a job from someone who needs it when you can take care of all my needs so easily?"

"You don't feel like a parasite?"

"Not really. Of course, since Brad and I are engaged I feel like what's yours is mine."

Mavis laughed. "Well, that's not how I feel. You two might be engaged but I've got news for you, sweetie: what's mine is mine and I don't like sharing."

"That's a very selfish attitude, Mavis. Now can I please have a hundred dollars? I'm starving."

Since it was getting late, Mavis decided to give the money to Claudine instead of arguing with her. As soon as Claudine and Brad left, she'd call Rex and find out why that nincompoop hadn't broken up her son and his girlfriend yet. Honestly, did she have to do everything by herself?

"Thanks," Claudine said, pocketing the money. "Who's your date tonight?"

"Bernard Morton."

"I thought he was in jail for murdering his employee."

"He hasn't even been charged with anything yet," Mavis snapped. "Now would you please leave? I need to do my eyes and I have to have steady hands while I'm applying my eyeliner and there's something about your presence that makes my hands shake."

"Sure," Claudine agreed, "have fun."

Alone again, Mavis took a fortifying sip of her martini. Claudine might not think she was a parasite but Mavis disagreed and the time had come to do something about it.