"Just what kind of diet has Tiffany been on?" Vlad's face was pinched and white as he waited in the Schuyler Square emergency room. "She's gotten so thin! When I first met her, she looked like a normal, healthy teenage girl. Now she looks like a skeleton."
"I don't know what kind of diet she's been on," Tom Hartman said. "I knew that she wanted to lose weight but she didn't share any of the details with me."
"But you thought that you were her father! Why didn't you ask what she was up to when you saw how skinny she was getting? You failed her!"
"I failed her? I was doing my best to raise her because I thought she was my daughter while you were doing what? Hanging around Mavis and drinking martinis?"
"Hey, guys, this isn't getting us anywhere," Rex interrupted. "I can tell you what kind of diet Tiffany was on. She was using that Fat Off spray that she stole from her aunt."
Vlad and Tom turned together and stared at Rex. "What kind of spray?" Vlad demanded.
"It's called Fat Off and it's made by Kutrate Kemicals. I don't know what's in it but it stinks to high heaven. Like a dead skunk that's been out in the sun for days. Tiffany didn't care what it smelled like because it worked. A couple of squirts, some deep breaths and the weight peeled off. Best of all, she didn't have to stop eating stuff like pizza and fries. Tiffany thought it was the greatest invention since the wheel." Tears welled in Rex's eyes. "Now it looks like that junk is going to kill her."
"She isn't going to die," Tom said quickly. "The doctors are going to help her."
Rex sniffed. "Do you think she'll get fat again?"
"What does that matter?" Vlad snapped. "Being healthy is much more important than being skinny.
Rex cradled his head in his hands. "Oh, man, this is all my fault. I should have told her to knock it off but I didn't because she looked so hot. If she dies..."
"She is NOT going to die!" Vlad said loudly. "If you can't control yourself, young man, then perhaps you should leave. We'll call you when we find out what's wrong with Tiffany."
"I know what's wrong. Fat Off is poison and I don't care if we would have made a zillion bucks off of it. It isn't worth it!"
"How could the two of you make any money off something like Fat Off?" Tom asked. "What were you planning?"
"Well, not much," Rex admitted. "We thought about selling the formula to another chemical company but we never got around to it. We've been pretty busy, you know, with prom and everything. But then Tiffany figured her aunt was going to somehow make money off of Fat Off so we thought maybe we could blackmail her for some money. Then Tiffany decided to invest everything she inherited from her mom into Kutrate Kemicals so that's what we did. It's always best to be honest," Rex added in a virtuous tone that sounded like a foreign language coming out of his mouth.
A doctor entered the waiting area. "Are you Tiffany Schuyler's family?" he questioned.
"Yes, how is she?"
The doctor looked grim. "Not very well, I'm afraid. As a matter of fact, Tiffany is a very sick young woman."
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