Who's Your Daddy?

Tiffany sat in a plastic booth at the local burger joint and waited for her father to show up. Her real father. Tom or Vlad, whoever walked through the restaurant's doors was her real, biological, honest-to-goodness father. That was how she finally decided she wanted to find out who her daddy really was. Tiffany reasoned that it would be a lot less painful and awkward this way than having some gross, overly sentimental get together with all three of them there like some sicko remake of an old sitcom from the 1980s.

Tiffany tore the wrapper off her third cheeseburger. She loved the non-diet she was on. It was so great to eat whatever she wanted and keep on losing weight. Prom was this Saturday, graduation was in a week and then in one more week she'd be married to Rex. Life was so freaking awesome at the moment.

"Tiffany? Tiffany Schuyler? Is that really you?"

Tiffany looked up and saw Wade Peterson approaching her. Wade had graduated from Schuyler High a few years ahead of Tiffany and had always been way out of her league. Swallowing quickly, she smiled up at Wade. "Hi, Wade. Yes, it's Tiffany. How are you?"

Wade stared at her. "Wow. You look gorgeous. What happened?"

"Thanks a lot!"

"I'm sorry. Mind if I sit down?" Without waiting for Tiffany's reply, Wade slid into the seat across from her's. "That didn't come out right at all. I just mean that the last time I saw you you were kind of overweight and I think you'd just killed your mom in that car wreck. You didn't do any time for that?"

Wade might be cute but as far as being a conversationalist went, he was a total wipe-out. "It was an accident," she said coldly. "Of course I didn't do time."

"Then how about the weight? How'd you drop all that?"

"I've been dieting," Tiffany replied.

"Yeah?" Wade eyed the half-eaten burger sitting in front of Tiffany. "Well, it worked. You look good. You dating anyone?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact--" Tiffany stopped. Did she really want to tell Wade that she was getting married in a few weeks? If she did, she doubted Wade would ask her out.

"As a matter of fact what?"

"Oh, nothing. What are you doing back in town, Wade?"

"I'm home for the summer. I'm working at Kutrate Kemicals."

"Oh? What are you doing there?"

"Maintenance. You know, cleaning and getting rid of old chemicals. It sucks but the pay is good."

Hmmmm....maybe Wade could find some discarded Fat Off for her. Tiffany figured she had about three squirts left before her can was completely empty. "Wade," she began, putting one hand on top of his, "are you busy tonight?"

At that moment the restaurant door opened and a familiar figure stepped in. Tiffany gasped. So that was who her father was...