Good-bye, Thunder Thighs!

"Are you sure that's it?" Tiffany picked up the plain white aerosol can and held it up to her nose. "I don't smell anything."

"That's because you have to spray it into the air, dummy," Rex replied as he peeled off his faux delivery man's outfit. He'd sweated all the way through it and felt like he'd spent the last couple of hours sauteing in a pan of cheap cooking oil. It had been awhile since he'd stolen anything and the entire experience had made him pretty nervous. "You can't smell it unless you squirt it."

"It doesn't say Fat Off anywhere on the can," Tiffany pointed out. "Maybe it's furniture polish or spray paint."

"Why would the president of Kutrate Kemicals keep a can of furniture polish or spray paint in a locked cabinet in his office?"

"Is that where you found it? Oh, Rex, you're wonderful! I never knew you were so smart!"

"Smart enough to know that you're the woman for me, baby," Rex responded. "Are you going to squirt that stuff or what?"

Tiffany hesitated. "I'm scared," she admitted.

"Scared of what?"

"What if it doesn't work?"

Rex shrugged. "What if it does? Then we'll both drop a few pounds and you'll know you want to invest in it."

Tiffany looked down and eyed her chunky thighs. How great would it be to turn those two wobbling watermelons into sleek, thin twigs that would look amazing underneath her jeans? And prom was coming! She definitely wanted to be skinnier before prom night! All those other girls at school--the ones who laughed at her in gym class and made comments about the number of chocolate chip cookies on her lunch tray and mocked her because she'd never had a boyfriend--they were going to die when she showed up in a size zero prom dress.  A couple of squirts of Fat Off and it would be goodbye, Thunder Thighs. "You're right," Tiffany said. "The only thing we have to lose is weight. Hey! That might be a good slogan for Fat Off. I'll have to suggest it to Aunt Mavis once we own the patent." Hesitantly, she pressed down on the plastic button on the top of the can. A fine mist filled the air and instantly Tiffany started to gag. "It's awful! It's terrible! Oh my gosh--open a window!"

Holding his nose, Rex ran and pulled up a window. "Man, that stinks! It smells like road kill. Skunk road kill."

"Do you think we breathed enough in to lose weight?" Tiffany asked hopefully.

"I don't know but it sure killed my appetite. Maybe that's how it works--the smell makes you so sick that you  never want to eat again."

"I think I feel a little thinner already. I'm going to go weigh myself."

"Tiffany!" Rex said.

Tiffany turned. "What?"

"I don't think I've heard a thank you yet for risking my life and my reputation by getting that can of Fat Off for you."

Tiffany stared at him for a moment, confused. "Oh, that. Right, well, thanks but it was really for both of us, wasn't it? I think you should thank me for thinking of it."

Rex rolled his eyes as Tiffany left the room. Man. Some people seemed incapable of showing appreciation. Especially rich people.