Dieting 101

All of the sudden, life had gotten pretty good. Tiffany sat down at her kitchen table and pulled out the sheet of paper that she'd stolen out of her aunt's desk, the paper that described the top secret new product--Fat Off--that promised almost instant thinness after a few squirts in the air. Tiffany studied her aunt's scrawls, a smile slowly covering her face.

If this stuff works I'll never have to say no to pepperoni again!

She wondered how long it took Fat Off to start melting pounds. It would probably be a good idea to get her hands on a can so she could give the spray a try. But how? Obviously, Aunt Mavis didn't have any Fat Off at her house or else Tiffany would have found it. Aunt Mavis didn't need it anyway. The woman subsisted on toast crumbs and booze and had never been more than a size four her entire life.

Tiffany read the paper again, slowly. It looked like Fat Off was being made at Kutrate Kemicals, that stinky factory on the west side of town. So that's where the spray had to be. All Tiffany needed to do was break into the factory. Maybe Rex would be better at doing that. He did have a criminal record and he'd said he would do anything for her. Besides, she didn't want to get arrested right before prom. That would really suck.

"What are you reading?" Rex asked as he lumbered into the kitchen.

"Rex, are you any good at breaking and entering?"

"Only the best, baby. Why?"

"I think you need to break into Kutrate Kemicals and find a can of Fat Off. That way we can see if it really works."

"I don't know," Rex said. "They probably have a pretty good security system. I'm more used to breaking into things like old people's houses and churches."

"You can do it," Tiffany encouraged. "I know you can. How about right now?"

"Tonight? I thought we were going to order a pizza and watch some tube."

Sometimes Rex got a little whiny but Tiffany didn't mind. From what she'd observed, all men got a little whiny now and then. "We can do that after you get the Fat Off. I really want it, Rex. Please go get it for me." Tiffany fluttered her eyelashes and put one hand on Rex's leg and squeezed it tightly. "Please?"

"This is the stuff that's supposed to make us a zillion bucks?"

"It sure is." Tiffany squeezed tighter.

"Ouch! You're cutting off the circulation! OK, I'll go but not tonight. I need to make plans first. You know, case the joint."

"How long will that take?"

"I should be ready by tomorrow night," Rex bragged. "I'm a fast study. Now will you order the pizza already?"

Picking up her phone, Tiffany placed an order for an extra-large pepperoni pizza along with a side of breadsticks. In one day she would have a can of Fat Off in her possession and then she'd be able to eat all the calories she wanted.