Losing Weight Has Never Been Easier

"There has to be a way to get that formula away from Fritz," Mavis Schuyler mused over the top of her full to the brim martini glass. "I just can't get over it--weight loss in a can. Losing weight has never been easier!"

"What did you say, Mavis?" Vlad asked in a distracted voice.

Mavis studied her new boyfriend through narrowed eyes. "Vlad, we have the potential to make about a zillion dollars and you aren't listening to me! We need to figure out how to get that formula for Fat Off from Fritz. Then we could manufacture it out of Schuyler Industries and I could be even richer--doesn't that sound like a lovely plan?"

"For you, perhaps," Vlad agreed, "not so much for Fritz or for Kutrate Kemicals."

"Oh, who cares about Fritz or that smelly manufacturing plant? We are talking about the greatest invention since waterproof mascara! Don't you realize what this could mean--you'd never have to work another day in your life! We would be famous! Who knows, we might even get our own reality show as the King and Queen of Lowing Weight!"

Vlad returned to the newspaper he was reading. "I think dreams of glory have gone to your head, Mavis. We are talking about a silly little aersol spray that might work and might not. Plus it doesn't belong to you. And also, you're wealthy enough as it is. Don't you think you're being a little greedy to want even more money?"

"Vlad, I don't know if you've ever heard of the saying, 'you can never be too rich or too thin' but it's the truth. Yes, I'm rich and I'm also thin but I wouldn't being even richer and even skinnier."

Vlad turned a page and began to read the sports section. Mavis studied him for a moment before downing the rest of her martini. Vlad might be gorgeous. He might be smart and nice and have a fantastic build but he was so...proletariat. Who needed that? "I have a headache," she announced.

"Probably all the gin you've been drinking."

"Probably. But you need to go home. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed." Rising, Mavis waited for Vlad to get to his feet too.

"All right," he said agreeably. That was another thing about Vlad; he was too damn agreeable. Who needed that? "I hope you feel better, Mavis. May I suggest that you switch to water for awhile instead of martinis?"

"I'll do that," Mavis said as she walked Vlad to her front door. Liftin her chin, she waited for him to kiss her. As soon as Vlad was gone, Mavis ran toward her curved staircase and raced upstairs, two steps at a time. It was still early. Early enough for her to see what Fritz the bald chemist was up to that evening...